The Importance of a Name

            There are few things better for the mind and soul than a night with good friends and a journal.  Perfection.
            I am feeling much better.  I talked and wrote out my stress, and being with people who feel scared and excited about life reminds me that I am scared and excited about life, but gives me a feeling that it is something that simply happens and not something to simply fear.  I couldn't be happier to have such good friends.  And journals.  Starting a new journal reminded me that sometimes I need to have conversations just between me and the Anima. 
            I've always felt the need to name my journals.  I see published journals by other people, and children name them or simply call them "diary" or "journal", but it seems adults tend to just date the page and go, without a formal greeting.  I thought about trying that with my new journal, but it's not something I feel like I can change after so many journals.  A formal greeting to a named book reminds me that I am not alone.  We are not alone in an empty room with an empty page to make an empty mind.  We are fully in ourselves every moment, and we are fully in space and time and this instant is full of the following instant, the page full following our full minds.  So I will always name my journals.
            I love names.  Name etymology.  It's fascinating, and I wish names were treated more importantly. Emily means "rival"; Mallory means "unfortunate"; Cameron means "crooked nose"; yet these are common names.  I think the sound, meaning, and history behind a name is very important.
            Honestly, I don't tend to like my name, Rachel, which means "ewe".  My Latin name, Ovis, means sheep, but if you look it up in the Latin dictionary, it also exists as an insult, as "sheep, weakling, follower".  As not-a-Bible-person, I can't honestly appreciate the idea of being named after a "favorite" wife, even if she was the mother of Joseph. When I was a kid, I wasn't quite able to pronounce "ch", and I still can't.  In new social situations, I fear having to say my name, hoping people will figure it out because it's just so common.
             I'd much rather go by my middle name, Maria, a meaning of possibly "rebelliousness" or "beloved".  I actually grew up with the story of Mary, and I think the story has theological importance and spiritual importance, even if I don't consider myself Christian.  It was inspired by my mom's favorite song, "My Maria" — Brooks and Dunn.  There's meaning, history, and a beautiful sound in it.  My mom doesn't have a particular reason for naming me Rachel.  If it was easy to tell everyone to simply call me Maria, I would, but people don't seem willing to put in the work for that to happen.  So I am Rachel.  But I feel more like Ovis and Maria.
            If I had to choose a completely new name for myself, I would probably choose a "grandma" name.  Ermintrude means "whole, universal strength".
            If you might be interested in name meaning and etymology, I'd definitely suggest Behind the Name.  Name popularities dating back as far as 1880, fun name generators, and the historical and linguistic use of names.... It's one of my favorite websites.  I have a four-page Word document dedicated to my favorite names and meanings that I found there. 
            Tick this off on my list of happy obsessions.

(One of my favorite uses of names is in Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison... because you never know the name of the narrator. It is truly fascinating in terms of invisibility as a person and even as an idea.  It's uncomfortable, to the point that I often called him Nameless, as a name itself.  One of my least favorite uses is in the series Matched by Ally Condie.  Cassia probably means "empty, vain", even though it sounds pretty.)

Don't forget to be awesome!