Frustrated with myself again for having the stupidest, stupidest, worthless feelings that I've been having over the past few months, even though I shouldn't, and I know it. Damn it, I should be past all this. It is all the stupidest, most pathetic stuff to still be upset over, because there is absolutely nothing I can do to make it better but get over it. Nothing. And the fact that there's nothing I can do isn't even what makes me so freaking stupid, but the simple fact that I'm still feeling sorry for myself.
And then looking across the pond and seeing "everyone else" happy and already moved on, and thus feeling even worse -- more jealous, more sorry, more stupid.
Thus, I sometimes wish music didn't exist. And, to a lesser extent, sometimes I wish I didn't. Damn it.
This post brings a lot back. Definitely understand where you are, especially the connection that music has on your emotions. It sometime inhibits you from getting past certain things.
ReplyDeleteIt helps to know that I'm not the only one. Thanks. Today has been a long day of "you are not alone", and it's all helped me to feel a bit better.
ReplyDeleteI guess "MMMBop" is always there to fall back on, music-wise. X)