Purstiltski Nonderibly

A Post About My Reading

2012-01-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

Hi! Posting about books because... they're there to post about.
Anyway, today at school I made a list of things I wanted to do this weekend. It wasn't a super long list, maybe 12 things, including:

"Finish Billy Budd."

"Read more Harry Potter."

"Read Sammy Keyes."

"Finish Crossed, despite my fear of it almost being over."

"Start reading The Fault in Our Stars, despite how I know I will bawl my eyes out and am sort of afraid of that."

This often happens, where I have quite a few books to read - I have many more that I've started, but will need to start over because I got halfway through before starting another, and can't remember anything. That's why I'm re-reading most of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince right now. Really, I was mostly done with it. But Dumbledore is funny, so it's fine with me to go back.

It also often happens that I put off the ending of a book for too long, because I don't want the story to be over. Also because the ending to Matched made me cry, and I have a fear of crying over books when my family is around. o.O Even though... I've never cried from a book while they were around. But still partially why I'm sure I'll really like TFiOS, but am afraid of reading it. I know that there is going to be seriously devastating stuff in there.

Billy Budd is one of the strangest books I've read, because the author is talking to me with his own voice, and through "indirection". Books nowadays don't really go into a long back story. It mostly seems like we just learn about a character's past through their behaviours as we read or it just comes out from them telling others or having flashbacks. I doubt any modern novel or novella goes into several chapters that have nothing to do directly with any of the characters, or any of the story.

I've been a fan of the Sammy Keyes series since elementary school. I remember teaching myself to remember Wendelin Van Draanen's name in seventh grade, because I was obsessed. Sammy has aged very, very slowly. I think she may have been in seventh grade in the first book, but is now, in Sammy Keyes and the Wedding Crasher, she is just entering eighth grade. When I told my dad about how much I love this series, he tried to listen to the book on tape of the first one, and couldn't get over how childish it was. I notice the childish-ness a lot more now than I used to, but that's what I get for liking books from the juvenile section at the library. :-) No matter how juvenile, I swear by the fact that I laughed SO HARD at Sammy Keyes and the Wild Things that I know Sammy is one funny girl. And besides, I have to follow her and Casey, battling away the Acosta Octopus anyway.

And now that I've written a few disorganized thoughts about what I'm reading right now, what are you reading? Aaaaand... what's your favorite book? :-)

DFTBA, and hopefully you can still find some signed copies of TFiOS if you haven't already got your (perfectly wonderful, purple Sharpie signed) copy!

We Are Beautiful

2012-01-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

        Okay, so I just caught myself doing something -- looking at pictures. At first, Taylor Swift, because I'd just come across her twitter and she had a few pictures of her (and her adorable cat, Meredith). Then, Vanessa Hudgens, as I heard about her on a gURL article I was reading. But for a second I couldn't answer a question for myself...

        Why?

        My reason for looking specifically for pictures of them? Because they're beautiful. It's really strange to listen to what I'm thinking while I look at pictures of people:

"Wow, they're really pretty."

"I wish I had hair that looked that good."

"They have a beautiful face shape."

And I find myself thinking these thoughts silently all of the time. I feel bad now that I'm thinking about myself doing this, because I'm just judging all of them... but it's hard. It's a habit that I think we all have (correct me if I'm wrong). It's not always bad - if someone's beautiful, it's good. so, "Wow, they're really pretty," - I'm fine having that thought. It's the "I wish..." ones that I hate most.

My girl scout leader calls it our worst enemy - ourselves. Whenever I think of an, "I wish...", it brings me back to thinking about all of the ways that I'm not beautiful.

Again, "I wish I had hair that looked that good."

"I wish I had smooth, clear skin."

"I wish I had the perfect face shape."

"I wish I had pretty, white, straight teeth."

"I wish I could sing like that. (Yes, that's beautiful.)"

But, my GS leader also gave us the solution that she used for years - tell it to go away. We are our own worst critics, and if we get caught in a cycle of criticizing ourselves, we aren't building anything - we're just destroying everything. My leader said that when you notice yourself doing it, just tell it to go away (assuming it's a negative critic, which it usually is- sometimes we do need to criticize ourselves).

Now, this is not me denying that Taylor and Vanessa are beautiful - they freaking are - but, just a reminder to mainly myself, but to you too, that there is no perfect. There's no such thing as one type of beauty. We're all beautiful. Yeah, yeah... everyone says it. But it's true.

SO! I challenge you (me) to embrace how beautiful you are. Push away the inner critic and embrace your beauty. (Or "handsomeness" if you prefer, I guess, since guys often seem to not want to be called beautiful? But really, all you guys out there are beautiful too!) It's okay to be self-centered for a moment or two, if it makes you feel better in your everyday life.

I am beautiful: Sometimes I have days where I like my hair. I have really long eyelashes. I have a crooked smile, and I like it. I had no cavities when I went to the dentist last. I love my crooked pinkies (even though they creep a lot of people out :-D ). I like that I can get away with "strange" clothes. I can bull-crap an essay like a boss. I love to draw, and am relatively good at it. Also, I have all of my limbs! And I am very grateful for that.

Smile. You're beautiful! And you're awesome, too! And it's a beautiful day for you to be happy with you!

Love, peace, and DFTBA.

New Year's Resolutions Are So Cliche

2011-12-30T23:24:00.001-07:00

Yet I will do them anyway. These will all be my serious ones... sometimes I make ones that I wish I could keep, but can't, but what's the point, then? :-)

Keep my blood sugars below 250 all of the time, and below 160 whenever at all possible. Super important to me right now! But also above 70.
Stop procrastinating. I need to find a system that works - because doing it at 10:00 PM never ever has cut it this year. Motivation to do my homework right after school? For physics I already have a semi-system -- Do one problem, take a ten-minute break.
Spend time with my boyfriend on a regular basis. :-) Good relief of stress.
Go to bed at a reasonable time, like, say, 11:30 to start. 10:30 is the goal!
Read more - about two books outside of school per month. I have so many "to-read" books on Goodreads that it will take me many many years still. :-)
Spend time with my family. Real time.
Find time to hang out with friends - included in this is making them find the time to hang out with me.
Become more interested and involved in choosing a college - I have a list of where I would want to go if given the choice, but now I need to start actually deciding which choices are practical. By this time next year, I will have already applied! (I could have an interesting conversation, even if one-sided, about pressure to go to college...)
Draw even more! To get an emphasis in visual arts at school, I need to also start submitting my art to shows. I plan to do one at school in January, but am thinking about doing fairs as well. Also, does anyone know of any art galleries I can visit?
Eat less chocolate. X-)
Hopefully hopefully maintain my 4.0, but allow myself to not stress out if I get a 3.8 (hopefully 3.9. School is tough!)

Do you have any resolutions? Do you make resolutions that you know you'll never keep every year, like me? ;-)

Don't Forget Time Burbles Arrangedly!

2011-12-22T21:20:00.001-07:00

        Hi! This is just a really quick post about... well, random crap in short, maybe unconnected thoughts!
        I really love this video. I wish I had iTunes so I could have contributed to Forever Day for Alex Day! (and you know, everyone else in this awesome video.)

Nerdfighteria always seems to make me happy in some way. :-) I love that I don't even remember how I found it, but the very first time I did, I just ignored it and forgot about it, but now I just get so much joy from being a part of this awesome community!
Also, found out John Green's book, The Fault In Our Stars, was released early on accident by one supplier. :-( Oh well. Hopefully it will all still end up well, and I think I'll still be only getting mine in January! Wooooo!
Um... there was a fire in my physics class today, since the teacher was doing a demonstration that involved some weird propane musical instrument... that was hilarious. Don't worry! It was completely contained the whole time.
         Literary magazine is so stressful! I feel sometimes like I don't have the right or the ability to judge other people's writing and artwork, but it's part of the job. It's nice, though, since it forces me out of my comfort zone (which = saying good things about things, never bad).
In drawing 2 I'm going to enter a mixed media piece I'm finishing up in the school art show, Un-Named (or somesuch like that). Excited, nervous, and freaked out by the dolls in my piece.
        I have the most amazing boyfriend ever. :-)
        Sometimes kids need to learn how to act more adult-like... but often, adults also need to remember what it is to be kids again.
        Jeremiah doesn't like the same sorts of music I do, except random movie scores. Pity he may not even like Forever Yours!
        Reading An Abundance of Katherines by John Green. I really like it so far! Makes me think of "the F word" as "fug".
        In a sort of give-up mood in photography because even my 5x7s are super grainy. :-P Darn short days and indoor lighting. And my potential failures at developing and printing!
        Um. Um. Um. Squirrel. Ha ha. Pip.
        There are so many people I know who really need help, even if just support. I try my best to give it, but sometimes it's just hard... so just know, everyone, I love you peoplessss.
       Doing my last-minute AP U.S. History homework! However much homework stresses me out, when we're not talking about military strategy by different commanders (boooooring), I really like learning this stuff. Also, PBS is awesome.
        (Done with one assignment!)
        I have adorable kitty cats, whom I love. Oreo is sleeping cutely on the couch. Tina is sleeping cutely on a chair. (Awwwhh)
        Speaking of, I have a wonderful family I love!
        And wonderful friends that I love too!
        Forgot what the War of 1812 was there for a bit... haha... I'm in trouble when the AP test comes around...
Oh! I went to girl scouts yesterday, and it was fun. We were about an hour late, though, because we ran across four car wrecks, one of which looked really serious, and another one with firetrucks. Drive carefully, people! It's cold, it's dark, and it's potentially precipitating! We talked about our Sisterhood Journey that we're doing, and I think it will be fun. We're going to have (we think) a group of Juniors (about 4th grade to 6th, ish?) and we'll have a sleepover and watch one/two movie(s) and compare and contrast the strong female characters and the weak female characters. If we had time, we'd do Harry Potter (go Professor McGonnagal!) vs. Twilight (we all know those are some pretty weak female characters there...), and apply what we learn to our relationships with ourselves and others. I'm pretty excited. :-) Also, we decorated sugar cookies and talked about college! No one is decided on anything about college in my troop. o.O Including me, of course.
        Anyway, in the spirit of finishing this essay so I can, um, finish it! Farewell!
        Not so mad at JSD for making us have a long time before Christmas ("Winter"... but we all know that's just so it's politically correct) break. But I am so mad at all of the adults telling us we need to "grow up" and stop complaining. Hello? We're still in high school! We're not supposed to grow up quite yet. Our time will come.
        Happy Holidays, if you celebrate any! And I hope you're all fantastic, and not forgetting to be awesome.

Stress?...

2011-11-13T21:53:00.001-07:00

          You know, sometimes I just think it's good to take time to be happy, regardless of what my brain is saying. :-) Lots of changes going on, or to be going on very soon, and lots of stress school-wise, but... who cares? I know that no matter what I do, I'll be stressed at least for the week, so all I can do is take it as it comes and move right along. So, I'll do my best to relieve my stress for next week, but for now... meh, I can handle it. May as well smile as long as I can.

          "People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be." Abraham Lincoln

          Don't forget to be awesome!

This blog post is sort of unorganized and haphazard. ^_^

2011-11-06T20:58:00.001-07:00

            Good evening! I hope it's going very well! So far, my day has been pretty good (and if it gets even better, I'll have an A in physics by tomorrow). So, I feel like writing about my day. :-)
            Yesterday/early this morning Lexie and I stayed up late to watch The Breakfast Club. Now, I'd heard very good things about this from every child of the 80s, and the previews for it that I saw on other 80's movies seemed pretty good. I expected to love it, so I was disappointed. It was actually kind of disturbing, even if the ending was... kind of... happy. I don't recommend it if you don't like swearing, violence, sexual things, or talking about really bad family lives. Because of all of that stuff, I couldn't like it more than I dislike it, even though I did have to rewind it to watch some hilarious parts again. So, after we finished watching that, we watched danisnotonfire on YouTube for a couple of hours and laughed even more. I love my sister. We finally went to bed, and Lexie was asleep in two seconds flat.
             This morning I woke up and I made myself breakfast (toast with butter and honey) and surfed the web, as per usual Sunday procedure. I was supposed to go to my UU church today, since the teen groups are starting on a long-term service project, and I really want to start going. My girl scout leader is in charge of it, so I can some badge-y stuff for doing it too! And service hours! Woohoo! (Oh! And my girl scout troop went to see Legally Brunette on Friday and then a sleepover, watching Sydney White and Letters to Juliet! ... Fun stuff!) I really miss all of the people from that church, too.
            My parents got home from church, and my dad and I went to go shopping. We got groceries and such, and that was surprisingly fun. :-) It's not all that often that I go places just with my dad, and he's funny even when he doesn't mean to be. And we went to Barnes and Noble. I always get a gift card for a book store for Christmas, and I figured I needed to spend last year's before I got a new one. I meant to buy Sammy Keyes and the Wedding Crasher, Sammy Keyes and the Night of Skulls, and Crossed (so excited to read!), but I ended up finding some other books that I've been wanting for even longer. So, I bought Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer (I've been following her blog for a little while), Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan, and An Abundance of Katherines by John Green. I also pre-ordered The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, which I'm super excited foooor!! X) I think John Green is my favorite author, though there are so many that are way up on the list too. This makes me think that I like authors that I follow more... I would never have thought of John Green as being so fantastic if I didn't follow Vlogbrothers so religiously.
            SO, finally, the point of this whole post that I made to myself all the way up there at line one... books are great. And so are authors, and people who read books, and people who buy books, and people who help you buy books, and people who go with you to buy books, and more of the sort. Books join so many people, places, and things together. I had a random thought before I started writing this that I could see myself someday having the hobby of going in to bookstores to buy a book every week. I could just look at all of the different books for hours, and talk to people about books...
            Now, the point as to why I don't do this.... I really should be getting back to my homework!
            And another point I realized.... I really really love my family. Super love. They're amazing. ^_^
       And now, a random list of other things that I don't want to forget that I've done, since I suck at writing in my journal: End of marching band, won 3rd place (woot woot, first in percussion); Celtic Thunder on Nov. 2nd; Eva is leaving on her mission very soon!
            Y'all should seriously check out Vlogbrothers if you haven't already. :-) It's pretty awesome.

            "Just move to the internet! It's great here! We get to live inside where the weather is always awesome." - John Green :-)

            And also, please, everyone, be safe. Be loving. Be brilliant. Be wonderful. Peace and love to Collin Worland and his loved ones and Jaxen Henderson and her loved ones.

            DFTBA!

I Am 700 Going on 800

2011-10-16T12:03:00.001-06:00

        Hello again! I know that I've not been very good at posting recently, at all. I'm very sorry. I felt as though this is a decent time to post, because I have things to post about!
        First of all, I am super duper proud of the marching band and color guard. :-) No matter how disturbing some drumline kids can be ( :P :P ), I love everyone so much! We got above a score of 700, which Layson says is the highest score we've gotten, higher than any competitions last year! We have about 70 more points we need to make before we will be in position to have taken second. :-)
        Second of all, tomorrow is my birthday! Today is the last day that I'll be able to sing this... about me turning 17, that is.

        Have a fabulous day!

Just Popping In -- Cheerio!

2011-09-17T22:57:00.002-06:00

        I really do realize that it's been a long time since I posted anything on this here blog (or any of my there blogs, for that matter), but I just wanted to let any of you that are still out there that you guys are awesome!
        Life is pretty normal. Everyone's said that junior year is a really hard year of school, and... I'm feeling it. I probably average out at about 6 1/2 hours of sleep per night for the first few weeks of school, now, and I think it'll continue that way for a while (hopefully not)! Hoping the stress goes away, soon! And I hope that all of you guys are doing well in school/whatever you do during this part of the year!
      Our first marching band competition of the season is on this Tuesday! I am so excited. : ) It will be super amounts of fun, and I hope that everyone has the best of luck possible!
         And now, I'm going to go! I will have carpal tunnel most definitely by the time I'm in my 20s... typing this much is making my hands ache. :P Homework and color guard will be the death of me. Color guard, what a great death, though, right?
      Love, safety, and happiness for you all. And DFTBA!

“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.” -- John Green

2011-08-13T00:45:00.005-06:00

"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love." -- Rainer Maria Wilke

_______So, for this post, I have a few intentions. I bet more will present themselves when one thought falls in love with another, but for now, I have two. And I'll go from there.

_______The first, and potentially the most important intention and purpose that one ever has, is to tell everyone that I love them. I am aware that not everyone that I love reads my blog. But even if you aren't all of the people that I love, you're still here, and you're still listening. I hope you know that really, I am talking to you.
_______We can't accurately measure love, ever. We try to. "This is my friend, Sarah. This is my best friend, Steven. But this is my best best friend, Alexa." The measurement of love that we feel other people want to give us makes us decide just how much we think it is alright to give back. You say hi to the people who always wave at you in the halls. You give people hugs if they are the type who open up their arms all of the time to give you hugs. You don't look at people if you feel like they try to avoid eye contact with you.
_______But really, that's not a measurement of our love. It's amazing just how much we govern our lives based on how we feel we stand with another person. Now, if I knew that I'd follow through without getting arrested or molested, I would make the goal to love people, and show it, no matter my standing with them. It may well get a bit insane, though, so I'm trying to make another goal: To show people a little more love than I have before.
_______"To show people a little more love than I have before." I'm not completely sure what this means yet. I think it's one of those things that you just learn little by little as you do it.
_______A lot of this has actually been spurred on by just observing people. I really want to understand people. That person who has emotions burning them down like a wildfire, but barely has any smoke on the outside. That person who is really nice and funny, but just comes on a little strong. That person who wants to turn their life around so that they can feel good about it, but is brought down by their friends sometimes. That person who never feels beautiful, so always looks to confirm it. That person who....
_______I want to know you. And I want you to know me.
_______Leading on from the topic of goals in life... I am going to be a junior in about two weeks. Not like, "Aw, wittle Rachel Junior is just gettin' dis tawl!" However much I sometimes wish it was. But... Junior. As in, "Make a wish, you're in eleventh grade in 2011." Does time shock anyone else? Or is it just me?
_______I hear it gets worse when you get older. I felt old three years ago. And now three years ago sounds young. o.O
_______So, I figured I'd tack another goal list for this next school year onto this post.

1. To show people a little more love than I have before.
2. Win a trophy in fall marching band! I am so excited. I am so proud. I am a Grizzly. :-)
3. To learn to procrastinate just enough that I can get to bed before midnight thirty. Preferably to actually do my homework when I should actually be doing it instead of watching Fringe or listening to (surprise) 80's music.
4. Get another 4.0. I've heard from everyone so far that 11th grade is a whole lot harder than sophomore year... If so, I have my challenges cut out for me.
5. This will be over soon, but... to finish my summer homework... "I have confidence in sunshine! I have confidence in rain!"
6. Win a trophy in winter guard! :-) To always stay in touch with Eva!
7. Read all of John Green's books. And finish all those books I've started (though I'm sure there will be more)... Dang. Finish Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince especially. :P
8. Actually get involved in the activities NHS and MESA do this year. I stink at it, ohh, yes I do.
9. Make Lise say "Rachel, you're the only one who could get away with that," about my clothes even more often. X)
10. Apply for scholarships. D-: Look into colleges. D-: Freak out. D-: Stop freaking out because I know it's not productive. :-| Freak out anyway. D-:
11. Get a good score on mah ACT.
12. Learn to cook better things so I'm not living on noodles with parmesan and toast for the rest of my life.
13. Sew a dress. I've gotta confess, I'm fashion obsessed.

(A billion days later)
14. Fix my schedule! It's embarrassing to have to do it twice. :-P

Have a great day! ^_^

DFTBA

2011-06-14T22:28:00.004-06:00

"I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best. "
- Walt Whitman

_____Today was the first official day of summer marching band! (Of course, the blog comes to life again when there's color guard on the line.) I'm very very excited for this year of marching band! We have our first parade on Saturday, which is very stressful! By then, though, Eva should have an actual routine and the band should be good at all of their songs, so we will not have dead arms and we will not have dead brains!
_____For a scout thing, Lexie and I are participating in some activity planning for the Honey Bee Festival! It is at the Sorenson Center from 4:00 to 8:00 on June 23rd! Why did I put so much information? Because people should come. : ) Honey bees are important to us all! Did you know that it takes 7-8 pounds of honey consumed by bees to make 1 pound of wax? Crazy! And one bee in their whole lifetime makes about 1/12th of a teaspoon of honey in their entire life? It takes 576 bees working their whole life to make one cup of honey!
_____Also, I have accomplished one of my goals for tenth grade! Though, admittedly, I wish I had done many more. But, I got my 4.0(!), survived AP Euro, Kenna does not yell at me for not eating meat (much) anymore, I haven't gotten lost, I talked more than I did in middle school, and I sort of know more about Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince now! I definitely need to get the book from the library again, because I was more than half way through! It's quite good, and Snape really needs to make sense. Lexie leaked to me the other day accidentally that Dobby dies in the seventh movie... I must watch part one too!
_____On a final note, I am reading John Green's Paper Towns, and I really really like it! I went into the book with lots of expectations, because I am a Nerdfighter now and know that John and Hank Green can both have massively brilliant moments, but I'm happy with it. It wasn't how I expected a John Green book to be. I didn't think there'd be so much swearing or talking about sex or drunk people screaming "YES!", but it created an identity separate from the person that I saw, and I'm really happy with that. I'm pretty sure that I have about 20 more pages left, so I am going to leave and finish it up, then go to bed to prepare for another wonderful day of summer marching band! Mmm... plus John Green makes me want to delve into the world of poets, like Walt Whitman.
_____WEAR SUNSCREEN, KIDDOS. I LOVE YOUR SKIN, AND SO SHOULD YOU.

2011-05-05T23:00:00.001-06:00

Religion makes me feel sad more than anything.

Springing into Spring! (And Other Such Lame Titles)

2011-04-20T22:46:00.002-06:00

_____Tonight was the Monster Concert at the high school. There were bands/orchestras/otherthingsIdon'tknowwhattheyliketobecalled from the middle schools and the high school, the drumline, and the color guard that all performed.
_____(Oh, yeah! Drumline won first place in our class at the competition on Saturday! Woot woot!)
_____I feel like it was our best color guard show we've ever done. It's nice to have people in the stands who you know care about the school and the programs. I'm so proud of everyone! : )
_____At the end of it all (including taking off all of the contact paper stars that we spent hours putting on the floor a few months ago :P ), we found out who the color guard captains for this next year will be!... drumroll.... The results are... Kenna and I! I'm glad for us both, and glad that I've had Kaylien and April as the fantastic captains this year. I love color guard so much.
_____. . . . . . .
_____. . . . . . .
_____I LOVE COLOR GUARD!
_____I am so looking forward to summer. : ) Guard starts practice next Tuesday after spring break! That's the 26th! If you even remotely think you might dislike but not hate color guard, you should come, because color guard is fantastic and is the best group to belong to.

(Realized today that color guard girls really are bouncy. Especially once we take our shoes off.)

_____Nothing too horribly fun planned for the looong weekend, but Easter is good, and tomorrow is a diabetes doctor appointment (which my blood sugar levels desperately calls for) and going to the DI, all the while being in the driver's seat! ...I hate driving.
I'll probably be sick of the long weekend a few days in! So, for now, before you all go off and have a fun time without me, goodnight.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss

Peace, love, and vegetables

For I Have Lost So Long

2011-04-13T21:36:00.003-06:00

Quick updates!

Didn't win any awards for winter guard, um, at all, but I feel like we had an interesting show, and I'm uber proud of all of the girls on guard, including myself! Rifle is fun. : )
Captain auditions are coming up soon for color guard! My essay is due on Friday, and then we have the Monster Concert in a week from today, so... ahh! I'm excitedly terrified.
COLOR GUARD TRYOUTS are May 9, 10, and 11 3:00-6:00 P.M. in the small gym at the high school! Don't worry about if you don't know how to do any of it; we teach you. : )
Doing well on my goals to get 4.0's for all of tenth grade (made NHS!), but with one more quarter to go, I'm afraid to check my grades because it's super hard and I don't want to disappoint myself by realizing I'm being a horrible student. I'm falling insanely behind... had mental breakdowns for an hour last night, so... I'm gonna catch up as quick as I can. (I cover my eyes when I check my grades...)
Looking forward to summer.
For psychology class, we can do a project on a mental illness (I chose schizophrenia) or just break a social norm and then record it for our project. I'd really rather do the latter, but I don't have any ideas! If you have any, I'd really appreciate them!

I wish I had time enough to actually put more into blog posts! I'm hoping soon I'll get past the stress, and I'll have more time to actually put more thoughts out there. : (

"Ky can play this game. He can play all of their games, including the one in front of him that he just lost. He knows exactly how to play, and that's why he loses every time." -Ally Condie (Matched, which is a fantastic book)

Because Now Is Real

2011-02-23T20:02:00.001-07:00

Grass Roots, "Let's Live For Today"

And I keep telling myself that, to get past my fears and to live it better.

Goodnight. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

2011-02-19T23:41:00.003-07:00

_____Wow, what a long time it's been! Quick quick update because I need to be getting to bed soon. For once I'm tired! Update number one: RACHEL GETS TIRED. o.O
_____Update numero dos! Today was our second color guard competition of the season, at Lone Peak High school! It was kinda trippy, because the layout is just like Copper Hills... but they don't have a second floor! It's like, half a cake... Eva was away in Portland, so Curtis and Kate came with us, and I've determined they're both pretty freaking awesome. I love my color guard. We were all pretty stressed out going on, because there were some people who were sick, and a few that hadn't learned all of the work. When we finally went on, I started feeling pretty horrible, since my blood sugar had been freakishly high an hour or so before and had rapidly fallen... and, in the gym, they covered all the windows with black paper, so I was even more tripped out. But anyway! We performed, and only one person forgot to set a piece of equipment, and most people didn't notice (yea!), and I hear that we did okay... It felt very off to me, because we were very squished together, and ALMOST NO ONE SMILED (it made/makes me very depressed... really). But, now I have things to see if I can get Eva to have us work on.

Practice with the actual BACKDROPS!
MAKE PEOPLE SMILE. It's been proven to everyone who's tried it before (and another girl tonight!) that if you force yourself to smile, you will eventually actually feel happier, and therefore, a lot more confident in the show.
Going off of that WE NEED CONFIDENCE! I know we can do this... we can be as good as American Fork. They get good by work and practice, not by blood/school!
Work on SYNCHRONIZATION! Many of the things we look not-so-good at are just because we don't have it all synchronized, not so much that we don't know it.
Work on TRUST! We need to be able to trust that we're all doing our hardest, and that we all trust each other to do the right things in the show, and to fix them and take advice if we need it to fix it, so that we can all grow closer together and grow higher numbers to add to our score tree. So far, I actually think this is the thing we need to work on the most as a guard.
Work on our FEET! People notice when we're off foot... really, they do.
Have FUN AND DEDICATION! Color guard shouldn't be something that people just do as a side thing. It shouldn't be something that we just blow off, then go to when we get bored. It shouldn't be something that is just for fun. It should be something that is fun, and that we are dedicated to. As we go along, we have even more fun, and more dedication. But we can't do it if that first dedication isn't there. We have to PRACTICE and COME TO PRACTICE for that to happen.

_____And that's all I can really think of for that! We don't know what place we got, yet, but will learn on Tuesday! We did better than last time, though. Much better. (First competition, a few people didn't set flags/have flags performing, and an entire backdrop fell over at the beginning...)
_____My favorite memorable shows! American Fork (circus), Provo (Oceana), Mountain Crest (lighthouse), Wasatch Independent (Wizard of Oz/Asylum), and Urban Expressions (Colors... a guy tossed so high tonight that it hit one of the basketball hoops at the ceiling and went flying across the floor! He danced to it, and it was freaking amazing! I'm glad no one got hurt!). Wish I had seen Payson's show! I don't remember what theirs is this year, but last year's was my favorite of that year. (I found out the sooong! "Cold Bread" by Johnny Flynn. YES!)

_____Last Saturday was the Sweethearts dance! It was freaking fantastically fun, and that's mostly all I have to say. : ) I'm glad I went.

_____Umm.... I have my roads test on Tuesday! I'm very nervous, but will just let it work itself out... if I relax, I'm always a fine driver.

_____I'm going to die from the homework this weekend! YEA! XP

_____I don't remember anything else I did recently! I'm tired! I'm either going to bed or going to watch some weird movie to fall asleep to! Yesss!

Goodnight. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

Who ever knew

2011-02-13T12:52:00.001-07:00

How happy I could be even though I feel so stressed? : )

XX

2011-02-03T21:23:00.003-07:00

_____COLOR GUARD COMPETITION AT WEST HIGH SCHOOL ON SATURDAY! CHHS will be performing a bit past 4, so, you should come. Whoever you are. As long as you're in Utah. : )

Rodney Atkins - Going Through Hell

_____So far, school sucks this quarter. Drawing class is disorganized, math stinks - as per usual, psychology is too simple, and I'm getting bad grades in all of those classes because of it. And now I don't know how much sleep I've lost because of other classes, and I don't know how I'm supposed to survive this next week and a half, because at the end of that, there are 3 things due in AP Euro and they're going to kill me. Sociology is confusing because we bounce all over the place and don't talk enough. To tell you the truth, the only class that doesn't stress me out in any way is health class.
_____So, that song's been posted here before. It's the song for hope for school. XX

My Parents

2011-01-23T19:56:00.017-07:00

_____?Some of my favorite pictures, and people - my parents. I won't lie - it's sort of hard to imagine them younger. But the proof's right there, so I might as well believe that they could have been just like me at some point!
_____Click to enlarge, as per usual!
_____There's 2 random pictures in there... of a room full of people who all have poofy hair! It's called an "irresistible posting temptation".
_____My parents were - and are - beautiful. : ) Mum, Dad, I love you lots!

Starting with the closest people in time my life started with

2011-01-22T23:12:00.018-07:00

_____I've got lots of photos! And since I enjoy them, here's a glimpse into history, starting with my grandparents...
_____So, as usual, CLICK TO ENLARGE, because they're gonna be tiny. : )
_____Expect more photos, too!
_____I love my family.
_____I love and miss you, Grandma and Grandpa Bates, and Grandpa Frank.

YOU are what makes YOU awesome!

2011-01-20T21:49:00.003-07:00

Psst! Our song is Katy Perry's Firework!

_____Our color guard show is going amazingly awesome and/or awesomely amazing! We're still falling farther behind on getting our show done than I wish we were, but I feel like we're doing great, and I am so ready for evaluation show on this Saturday! (Oh my! That's two days away!)
_____Now, if any of you might just happen to be around, and might want to see the awesomeness that is Copper Hills and any other awesome color guard competing (of which, they all are amazing ☺), you might like to know our competition dates!
_______5 February - West High School
_______19 February - to be announced... I'll get back to ya'...
_______12 March - American Fork High School (born and bred for band and guard!)
_______26 March - Davis High School
_______2 April - Circuit Championships, of which I don't know where it is!
_____I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. ^_^
_____Chase came to visit us today! (His hair was awesome, as per usual.) He gave us lots of rifle work, and gave the other half of the guard lots of flag work! We still have lots of work to do, and I have a sort of dance... hahahaha... "solo"... and it's terrifying, so I need to work on that. I'm looking forward to when we'll finally get to the flag feature, because I already know it'll be epic, and I don't want to ruin the surprise for anyone who might actually come to see us!

_____"Do you ever feel already buried deep? Six feet under, scream, but no one seems to hear a thing? Did you know there's still a chance for you? 'Cause there's a spark in you, you just gotta ignite the light and let it shine! Just own the night, like the Fourth of July! 'Cause, baby, you're a firework, come on, show 'em what you're worth!"

_____I haven't grown tired of hearing this song yet, because every time I really listen to the lyrics, I feel good. Fun, friendship, and music: the natural antidepressant. And heaven knows high school gives need for that goodness.
_____Speaking of high school! I did it, I got a 4.0 for the quarter! Two Washingtons left and I'll be finished with 10th grade! Whaaaaa-?

_____Peace out, and be awesome. Seriously, peace out. Peace is good for you. ☺

Breakdowns and Light Ups

2011-01-16T13:30:00.003-07:00

_____January has been quite a stressful month for me, and I finally broke down (again) and decided that I needed to change some things in my life to make myself happy. Because I can't help make anyone else be happy if I'm not happy in the first place.
_____I finally wrote said breakdown results:

What To Do
To Improve Everything I Am and Can Be

-Share my emotions with others
-Don't be afraid of what people - especially friends - think about me
-Try my best at any task I need to do
-Don't procrastinate on homework (it's ironic I'm blogging right now)
-Share my music with others (I was listening to Erasure!)
-Close myself somewhat off from the internet - have a life that revolves around things that are completely real (ironic, again)
-Open up to my family, especially Mom and Dad, about what goes on in my life (without them prodding)
-Eliminate things that I keep in my life that make me feel icky - music, pictures, magazines, books, people, etc.
-Face my fears in a safe way
-Laugh
-Talk to people I don't know well
-Talk to people I wish I knew well
-Sleep for long enough time each night
-Write more to sort out thoughts, and for fun
-Read more often for pleasure
-Pay attention to my surroundings
-Dance
-Clean out my spaces of clutter that feel like they're weighing down on me and holding me back from people and myself
-Let old hates burn themselves to ashes, finally, and let them blow away
-Send a message in a bottle
-Be modest of my body, and my thoughts, and my words
-Go outside with the cats
-Be grateful for life, and all life at that
-Eat more healthily, and encourage my family to as well
-Believe in hope
-Meditate daily
-Smile - be happy with others and with myself
-Spread kindness to everyone I meet, all of the time
-Let myself be spontaneous
BE REAL
BE LOVING
BE GRATEFUL
BE HOPEFUL

_____For me, making goals is pretty much a year-round thing, even if my goal is the same every time, I have to remind myself of it. New Year's resolution? Nah. New day's resolution.

_____Now that I feel a lot more light and in control again, thank goodness, I'm really glad for everything I have. I'm glad I have a family that I love a lot more often than I am annoyed by them (because I love them all of the time), and that I have friends that will joke with me, and pets that will sit on my lap, and for plants that are green sometime in the year. : )
_____A few things I'm not grateful for, in any way at all: Utah's air pollution, guns, greed for money, enemies among friends, and more air pollution. I wish these sort of things were easy to deal with...
_____But, since I'm facing what I can do right now, I guess that's what I'll focus on.

_____What I'm reading (in case you might be interested):
________Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports - it is hilarious, as per usual
________Angela's Ashes
________The Grand Guignol Orchestra: Vol. 1 - confusing. I have lots of trouble following manga action scenes, it is decided
________The Wallflower: Vol. 8 - don't even know where I put this book... oops
________The Bible: (version forgotten) - I surprise even myself in my reading choices sometimes
________A bunch of other books that I say I'm reading, but will probably have to start over because it's been half a year since I read any of it. :P Or I could just pretend I know what's going on and pick them up where I left off before I started another book...

_____Today's focus: Don't procrastinate on homework. Goodbye! Until AP Euro is done, my life is boring. : ) And I'm happy for it.

"A man can't soar too high, when he flies with his own wings."
-William Blake

2011-01-13T22:48:00.001-07:00

Things I need to do: write in my journal.
Things I probably won't do for a while: write in my journal.

11:something and blogging! FTW

2011-01-09T23:15:00.002-07:00

What follows is the jumble of thoughts I have and things that seem important to tell to me. Muahahahahahahahahaha:

_____Yes, I feel brilliant right now! (In case you wondered.) What freaking better time to feel like blogging than late on a school night?? Speaking of, school's going well! Just need to up my chemistry grade and I'm well on my way to another 4.0, which makes me proud of myself. All you out there who aren't pulling up to your potential: what goes on? We are what we believe we are! And I believe in you. ☺
_____Life feels good. You know the feeling? I hope so. I feel like everything is sort of falling into place, like Tetris. Stressful, fun, funny shapes and colors, and addictive. Ahh, life, you are a silly creature. (What would life look like if it had its own form distinct from, you know, lifeforms?... what a stupid sounding question. : P But I think I know what I mean.)
_____Tonight I finally got around to watching Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (instead of The Village, which I will get around to... sometime), and I really liked it. Then after that, I was back to looking at random things on the internet. Yea for difference, eh? I came across some cool fashion/photography blogs, and feeling inspired, started playing dress-up.
_____Dress-up? Yes. One of my favorite past-times. Although, until the moment this was published, pretty much only my family really knew that (or, maybe they learned something too). Surpriiiise! Fashion addict. Maybe someday I'll get the guts to actually wear half of the things I adore when I play dress-up out in public. And maybe someday I'll start a fashion blog, which would not be until a) we found the good camera again, which has mysteriously gone missing, or I figure out how in the world I ever took decent pictures with our old digital again, b) find the want to actually get up and go outside to take pictures of myself, and c) stop feeling lame for having two blogs in the first place before I make it three. So yeah. Woo hoo!
_____Got new glasses! Yea for that! Now I can see with glasses again! They're the bold sort that make me feel sort of cartoon-y, and if you know him, remind me of Shastaberry. If we foundthe camera that has mysteriously gone missing, I would have pictures somewhere of them. But I don't.
_____Goals: get out and a) draw more, b) take cool photographs, and c) stop procrastinating on the AP Euro homework that's due on Thursday. I'm really really missing that camera right now. (Sad face.)
_____Snow, beautiful snow! I like that the snow is here, I hate that I have to walk in the snow, I wish it was warmer, and I'm grateful for fake leather boots that have the ability to keep the water out.
_____Sweet onions are an amazing food.
_____Telephones are funny. X D
_____I hateth the smog. (Ultra sad face.) Utah has horrible horrible terrible deadly smog in winter. If you didn't know the mountains were there, you'd never guess, on many days (and of course, they're not hard to miss usually). I want us to stop being stupid. X ( Stop being stupid, Utahn humans. Stop being stupid, weather. Stop being stupid, government. Stop being stupid, world. (ending paragraph before I get into some controversial topic I don't really wanna get into right now...)
_____Since I've now passed midnight, I guess I'll be saying goodbye, and goodnight, and good luck with anything and everything in life!

_____And, on a final note: lots of people have already died this year, and we're only 9 days in. Give your thoughts to those who have lost their lives, and their loved ones. And please, please be careful. Really, we are mortal; we don't need to test it. Blessed be.

"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold." - Zelda Fitzgerald

Things I've learned from 10 1/2 years of school:

2011-01-02T22:18:00.003-07:00

Being called a "nerd" or "geek" is a good thing (except in movies)
Feeling like a teacher's pet, while it may not be fun, is useful
Only when math is involved does how well you understand what you're doing really count
Work > knowledge ← (Sad, I know. : ( )
Counselors are usually repetitive
The future will suck, unless I get a job and money (See: brainwashing)
Rebelling against teachers doesn't work, because sadly, it only hurts yourself
Do not mimic your teacher, because your first grade buddies will not save you from being in time out while they learn about shapes without you
Teachers have lower expectations for students than they will readily admit
Memory devices work
The teachers you adore while you are in their class are (usually) not as enthusiastic to see you a year later as you would wish
Color by numbers was bomb
The school only cares about dress code 1/15th of the time

_____Yea for going back to school tomorrow, eh? Indeed(ish)!

Happy Eve of 2011!

2010-12-31T15:53:00.003-07:00

_____And may the next (and the next, and the next, and the next...) year be a grand one!
_____So, in keeping with many people's, and my own, tradition of making goals to meet during the next year even if they seem rather impossible or you never really get them done, I might as well make a new list! Yea for liiiists!

_____New Year's Resolutions (←or something that sounds goal-oriented like that)
______▲Get my A1C down to 7.3 or lower
______▲Get a 4.0 or 3.9 year
______▲Learn to take pictures with that old 80's film camera (it's ultra awesome)
______▲Get 7 1/2 hours or more sleep on school nights
______▲Fall in love with triangles
______▲Become better at teaching things in color guard
______▲Lessen the hold that procrastination has around my entire being of school-assignment-ness
______▲Give up soda entirely
______▲Become more food-conscious (yeeea, girl scouts!)
______▲Drink more water, because fishies like water, and I like water too
______▲Draw more often
______▲Internet less (I'm doing great so far. :P )

_____And that's my list of list-ness properties! Joy to the world, a list is made!
_____And in the spirit of some sort of spirit, some random things you may or may not know about me: 1) I really like sweet onions. They are delicious. Yes, Donkey, they are better than cakes or parfaits. 2) Rat tails really creep me out. If they were covered in fur that made them look like squirrels, I would probably really love Lily more, even though I already love her. 3) I love kittens.

_____So, once again, have a very happy new year!

"Wow, it really snowed last night! Isn't it wonderful? Everything familiar has disappeared! The world looks brand new! A new year...a fresh clean start !It's like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on! A day full of possibilities! It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy...let's go exploring!" -Bill Waterson

There is a light...

2010-12-27T17:09:00.003-07:00

Rocky Horror Picture Show, Over At the Frankenstein Place

The Smiths, There Is a Light That Never Goes Out

Great Lake Swimmers, There Is a Light

Because it helps to write it out.

2010-12-27T13:41:00.002-07:00

Goals for today:
_____Get to key point 25 on my Euro history outline.
_____Write 1/2 of the DBQ.
_____Get 2 pages done on my final short story.
_____Clean the living room.
_____Clean the kitchen (somewhat). : P
_____Write my personality essay.
_____Do not die of boredom.

Sounds like a plan.

OH MY GOODNESS! Break is almost over. And I'm not done with this stuff.
(cries)

May everyone have a happy Christmas,

2010-12-24T21:14:00.002-07:00

(because I believe in the spirit of a Jesus, even if I don't believe in "god".)
and a safe one at that, too.

Never hide your heart

2010-12-21T22:00:00.002-07:00

Moving Pictures, Never

_____Definitely in the mood to watch 80's musicals right now...
_____I wish there was a place to go on my bike that I could just break out in random dance moves. I like his dancing in this video, no matter what criticisms people have, because it's that sort of movement that feels right with the emotion. I wish I had an empty warehouse... minus the realization that someone's watching you the whole time. Since that's what I always seem to be running from.

C is for Christmas, Color guard, and Carrots

2010-12-18T15:42:00.003-07:00

Madness, Our House

(Yesterday was the final Madness concert of 2010 in London. : ( And I was still here, in the USA.)

_____It is almost Christmas! Only a week! Of course, you probably already knew that. Is it just me, or as you get older, Christmas becomes increasingly... eh... not exciting? I remember when I was little I'd start counting down the days as soon as Thanksgiving was over, but this year, someone says, "Christmas is nine days away! It's coming too slowly!" and I feel like it's sneaked up on me. I am not ready yet. I've only given gifts to five people, and those were totally out of the blue... I've got too much to do to be ready for Christmas to come! DX
_____Of course, I do love seeing family and friends, and I do love the decorations! And New Year's Eve is always a blast too!
_____Color guard tryouts went fantastically! I'm hoping that all of the new people we got will stay! This year is gonna be a blast! Our song is great, and Eva's great, the people are great... this show will be great! I don't know what I'd be doing with my life if I didn't have color guard, but I'm happy where I am. : )

_____And here's a reminder: There's always someone, somewhere, sometime, that is loving you. I hope everyone's doing great!

2010-12-13T21:54:00.002-07:00

Kuroyume, Nite and Day

_____Still liking this band. Maybe it's just that I can't understand a lot of it, but I don't care why it is. It makes me happy. : )
_____Sleepy-time, and make-up tests, and color guard! Yea for all that stuff! (Except make-up tests!)

Oh, I Probably Wish

2010-12-12T23:25:00.003-07:00

_____So true, so true! Sometimes I think I care about my clothes too much. Then I look down at what I'm wearing and laugh. I think I only care in theory. ; )
_____School, thou shalt delay thyself until the sun rises from the North! ... I guess I'll wait and see how my demand turns out.

December, thou livest in dreams! (Or something?)

2010-12-12T16:24:00.003-07:00

Kuroyume, For Dear

_____Tomoko Hayakawa (author of the Wallflower manga series, which I'm a little obsessed with right now) totally raves about Kuroyume being her favorite band, so naturally, I had to take a listen to some. I must say, I'm really liking them now. (I also like Maria a lot, partly just because that's my middle name, and I'm biased that way.) I just wish I could understand all the stuff they're saying, besides the occasional English lines. These are the times I wish I had ultra language powers of magic.
_____For anyone who hasn't been paying attention to the epic best awesomeness that is color guard, winter guard tryouts are this week the 14th, 15th, and 16th from 3:00-6:00 (PM!) at West Hills! AHHHH!!!! {Insert very very very excited expression here}
_____I've been missing color guard so much! Even though getting all of my homework done will be harder once color guard starts, who said life had to be easy? I hear lots of band kids are thinking of doing color guard too, and it makes me happy. :' )
_____December's getting closer to ending! It feels like the year's really just begun, even though my mind really knows it hasn't. It's getting to that time to begin thinking of New Year's resolutions (even though I don't remember any of the ones I set for myself for this year, let alone accomplished said unknown things). So far, I only have one: Get my A1C score to 7.4, at least, and then get it better each time. My last A1C was 7.7. Whaaaa?? My brother even did better than me! (Don't you just love it when I teach you something about diabetes?)
_____Speaking of diabetes, I saw my diabetes doctor while I was working the concessions stand for the U of U gymnastics meet on Friday! It was odd. It's like seeing your teacher with their spouse and kids going shopping at Walmart: it doesn't feel normal. o.O But concessions was still fun and short, so that's all good. (The National Guard rappelled down with the American flag at the beginning! It was awesome!)
_____And now that I've bored you to death with talking about my life, I give you
__________AN IMAGINARY COOKIE! (You can choose the kind. Mine is oatmeal raisin.)
_____I know, it makes me happy to make you happy too. ;- )

2010-12-07T15:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Rachel,

Keep it up.
You know you can do it.
Problems always pass.
You've always said life is made interesting by problems.
Life shouldn't ever be boring.
You've always said life is made interesting by problems.
Problems always pass.
You know you can do it.
Keep it up.

All my love,
Yourself.

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." — Anaïs Nin

2010-12-05T18:11:00.006-07:00

Petula Clark, Downtown

_____Our song from last winter guard season. It makes me happy, now that I don't listen to it every 3 minutes and 30 seconds. : )

_____Other random things that make me happy:
_______"Hello!"
_______Unusual weather (fog!)
_______You!
_______New glasses prescriptions
_______Books (I'm currently reading Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment. Hilarious and exciting so far!)
_______Amateur photos
_______The color red
_______Gardens
_______People who always make the best of things

_____And I hope that you can always find things to make you happy too.

Give me back my before youth!

2010-12-04T14:23:00.004-07:00

I want life to rewind back to, say, two summers ago. Where life was really, really simple, and I merely had to be responsible for myself. Where conversations were simple banters about cookies with friends, and nothing that really meant anything outside of the moment. Where I didn't have to be 16. Where I didn't have to do any real homework. Where I was a naive girl who didn't care about the rest of the world outside the day. Where I could describe myself simply as liking cheese. Where I didn't think, "Oh crap, what do I do now?"

But it's not back to two summers ago. It's now.

Oh crap, what do I do now?

On top of spaghetti, there was....

2010-11-29T15:37:00.004-07:00

_____SNOW! We're getting so much snow! And still no snow day?? I love you and all, snow, but for once you should take everyone by surprise so the evil snow plow men have no chance to see you coming. Ahem, Wednesday would be the perfect day for a snow day, Mother Nature.

_____I love you, Mother Nature, you know that, right?

_____I love you a lot.*

*And the rest of you all in the world too!

I want to live in REM

2010-11-28T21:20:00.003-07:00

Mmmmm... The Police, So Lonely

_____Why do some people always wish to make life more stressful? Even if it's not stressful for them, and they're just poking fun... real life always has a way of forcing itself into daydreams at the exact wrong times in life.
_____Ah, take me away to the sweet nothings that are music and dreams... I wish I could dream forever, because those make more sense, and they're all so much more exciting.

This is...!

2010-11-27T23:23:00.004-07:00

Phoenix, 1901

Yet another magicalicious song on my MP3, but luckily, one I've listened to lots before (mainly just because "1" comes before "A").

I am ready for change! I'm going to try to embrace it with arms that expand to be wide-open! I want life to always give me good surprises. I want my life to always give other people surprises too!
Good thing I don't have to change anything, really. I just think I'm ready to show more of myself to the world.
Don't worry, it won't be too significant. This is Utah, remember that.* ; )

*Ahem, not that Utah has anything to do with some people being adverse to difference. Or at least, if we're not talking stereotypes here...

Floral stitching with Mario

2010-11-27T20:03:00.005-07:00

Jukebox the Ghost - Hold It In

Today I spent the day babysitting my cousins with Lexie, then the rest of the day spent some with my aunt Andrea and her boys and my grandma, and Mom and Lexie of course. All in all, a pretty great day. Finally went thrift store shopping to Savers, and although I didn't find what I had set out to find (saddle shoes, 50's and 60's style dresses, 80's sweaters), I did find an epic jacket which I absolutely adore for $13(say yes to thrifting!). I would have liked to stop the shopping after this point, but oh well. If I had not sat in the Kohl's parking lot by myself for an hour, I might not have ever listened to the above song. I've had it on my MP3 player for ages, but always have started at the same song in my playlist - yeah, I know, I'm weird - and decided I'd actually listen to all of the music in this thing eventually, starting today (since they're all free download of the days). And I'm so glad I did, because I've been listening to this song on repeat ever since! (It is a must to raise your eyebrow on the second "hold it in".)

Never failed to make me happy.

2010-11-26T23:40:00.002-07:00

From Howl's Moving Castle

Growing the grasses can't wait

2010-11-26T23:14:00.003-07:00

The Smiths, There Is a Light That Never Goes Out

Have you ever felt so tangled? Like there's everything you've ever wanted mixed up with everything you've never wanted and compacted so tightly in a ball that all you can do is hold it, not even discern one windy bit from another. Like every day you wake up you are happy, yet you still feel like you'd rather just spend your life dreaming. Like you never want to see the sun, but still want to feel its warmth and the yellow sidewalks. Like every moment is preciously, unknowingly wasted. Like you could turn yourself inside out and you'd hate that you're the same inside as you've always been while the world outside is still the same, it's just coming in on you instead of you coming out to it.

I have.

{Insert Cliche Thanksgiving Title Here}

2010-11-24T18:12:00.005-07:00

I am thankful for

Family that loves me no matter what
Pets who probably love me no matter what (and if they don't, at least they are good at acting the part) and/or pets who forgive me very easily when I make weird noises while running at them
Friends that love me no matter what
Family that loves the face I put on for them
Friends that love me mostly no matter what
Food to eat
A warm house
A house at all
Running water
Toothbrushes, toothpaste, and floss. And dentists, no matter if it's weird that they talk to you when they're just going to stick their fingers in your mouth anyway.
Utah weather!
Textbook writers that put in sarcastic side-notes and slowly tell you their life story
Modern medicine
Teachers that make class fun! (Schnegg, Ewell, Curtis... that means you!)
Writers
Sleep
Human abilities to speak
Silent thoughts that always stay silent
People with unhindered kindness
Color guard/marching band family

And many other random things!

As a side-note coming off of #2...
Isn't my Tina so adorable? And my Oreo is too. : )
Kitties, how I loveth thou.

What are you thankful for?

Missing you,

2010-11-11T19:30:00.000-07:00

color guard.

Is there life on Mars?

2010-11-06T22:52:00.001-06:00

I've loved David Bowie since I first saw him in Labyrinth when I was little, but am just hearing this song today?? What??

Bowie love.

The beginning of the end... AHH!

2010-11-05T20:11:00.003-06:00

Life is the crappiest goodness it feels like it's ever been.
It's nice.

Now that band's over, it feels as if it never happened, and was just a series of vivid dreams. Missing it so badly, but the fact that it'll be winter season in probably a bit more than a month has me getting excited!
Life's extremely monotonous (again), so I'm having a little bit of fun figuring out what I could possibly have done to keep myself entertained before marching band started and after it ended last year. Answer? Tons of music, books, cleaning, and drawing. And oh so nice it is!

For some reason, I keep thinking about college recently... no, I don't believe it's because of careers class, considering it's actually the first class I've slept through so much of, um, ever. It'll be a long quarter full of B days. (dun dun DUN!)

Aaaanywho, I'm trying to think of what I might want to do. All of the counselours and our teachers have been trying to force us towards making a decision since 8th grade, if I'm not counting first grade where we came to school dressed up as what we wanted to be and we ended up with a class full of police officers and doctors. I wish I could go back to the times like that in first grade, when I believed I wanted to be an artist. Or in fourth grade, when I was convinced someday I was going to be an author like R.L. Stine.
I think I've narrowed it down to some sort of natural science (marine biology? plant biology? astronomy?), social science (experimental psychology?), or some sort of writing job (editor?) or art job on the side. (I don't really want to become a full-time starving artist.) Of course, I realized that "the future" means I'll probably be spending 40 years doing the same thing. (Yikes!)

What do you want to do?

I'll be dreaming of you through my tears...

2010-10-30T22:59:00.003-06:00

Today was the last competition for fall marching band! We all did amazingly! It felt really good to be on that field. I cannot wait for next year! ^_^

I wonder if some people realize how much they make me happy. : )

Sadly, though, today was the last competition for fall marching band! That means I'll have way "Too Much Time" on my hands. (haha like my lame joke?) That is, until winter guard starts! I hope that we can get a lot of people to do winter guard. All that we know for sure is that we'll have four girls... but that hardly makes a winter guard. I'm hoping this year we'll have an overflow for tryouts, and that we'll actually get some guys that can do it the whole season! The more people who love guard like the guard this season has that we have, the better our show will be. I have so many hopes for this coming season. (You! Yes, you! I hope to see you at tryouts! Hint hint, if you're a guy... I promise you, all guard girls like a guy who can spin too!)

Thanks to everyone who's made this season the best I've ever, ever had. I don't care if we took third place by default, I say, we deserved it. I'll be missing everyone. :' ) An insane amount.

Oh, waffles, the season's over... I'd frown at that thought, except it was too fantastic. :' )
Goodnight to everyone. And, good luck with whatever you're doing now.

School Rant (not EC)

2010-10-28T20:42:00.003-06:00

Surprisingly, school hasn't upset me too much, until now. But when school does upset me, I rant. So, fair warning: if it says "rant" in the title, perhaps your better off just to ignore it and carry on with your life.

Chemistry is a B+, because my Candium lab must have somehow gotten lost before it got graded... and if I can't do something to fix this, I will end the quarter P.O.'d, to say the least. : (

I'm hoping I got a good grade on my math test today, because I'm on the line, and it could bring my grade down if I biffed it...

But, that's it! I'm so surprised to not be dead yet...

It's All On Us

2010-10-28T18:30:00.003-06:00

Today was our final practice.

Saturday is our final competition.

Saturday is our final competition.

Saturday is our final competition.

It's been quite a while since I cried around other people... and the last time was with band people too. This season has been so fantastic. We've risen so much higher this year than last year.

I'm so glad we've had such fantastic instructors this year. Eva, Andrew, Caleb, Jake, Simpson, Cody, Layson, I love you guys. All of the color guard, I love you. Band, I love you. Pit, I love you. Heck, sometimes I even find myself loving drum line. ; ) (And I'll probably find myself repeating all of this again, many times over.)

Saturday is our final competition.

But I don't care about the competition. The only ones I want us to beat are ourselves. I really want to make Cody cry, once. He seems like he's just setting up the pins for us to knock 'em over and let the tears fall anyway. : )

All that's left to do is do it.

2010-10-24T16:02:00.002-06:00

Robbie Williams, Beyond the Sea

Yesterday was the Mt. Timpanogos marching band competition! It turns out that we ended up getting 6th as a band, but the guard got 5th! (out of seven) I think that our score actually dropped a bit, for guard, but it's still really good! As soon as we were finished with the show, we were so happy. I felt like that show was something I could really be proud of. The crowd saying "whoa" once we pulled out the T-poles helped with that too. : )

Now, even though we didn't place, I'm still mostly happy with what we did! We've got on more competition on the 30th, and this one has to be our one. We can do better than ever before! Everyone in the band wants this. Everyone. Everyone wants to win, and show everyone what Copper Hills is about. We've got a few practices left, and if we can want it all the way through those and up to our final competition, it'll be hard for us to do badly.

Peace, Love, and my Second Band Family

Movin' On Up!

2010-10-21T20:50:00.003-06:00

The XX, Basic Space. One of my favorite songs. : )

Today in our color guard sectional I finally learned all of the parts of the show I missed, and we changed our routine for Babe so it's a bazillion times easier (and a bazillion times cleaner)! All of our work is so much better than the last competition, now.

We listened to the judge's tapes for the Davis Cup, and the color guard judge really was a stickler on feet for this one, as well as "loss of clarity" (aka, all of the parts where we chewed up our flags, broke our poles in half, and hobbled across the field like confused penguins). BUT, color guard was our second highest score as a band (211/300), regardless of ultra crapiness! (Eva told us honestly that it was as bad as we thought it was: our worst performance ever.) The visual judge (who focused, um, on the whole show. The only "visual" stuff was color guard and a trumpet circle that he mentioned) gave us our highest band score, and I've decided I like him: he snorted when the band stepped over the guard. Band members: make someone let you listen to it. X D

If color guard was our second highest (oh, and also the highest score for our color guard so far this season) even though the show really did feel like we destroyed it, now that I feel like it's the best we've ever had, I wonder how our scores will improve? If we can take all of the stuff we learned today out onto the field, we'll do amazingly. And if the band improves too... my oh my!!! I'm so excited!!!!

In the name of Mountain Dew*, we will pwn the Saturday competition.

*Which I'm still not supposed to drink, even though there is a giant case of it at the top of my stairs.

It's Gonna Be Ours!

2010-10-19T23:10:00.002-06:00

(Not much time, I need to get some sleep... more homework tomorrow. : P )

So, today was the Davis Cup marching band competition! I might have thought that it would have gone a bit better, but we had so much new work that it felt horrible. No one was together, and that's what we call "barf on the field" or the nicer term, "flags in a blender". Simpson says that somehow, we got higher scores than last time, which surprised him too; he thought we looked as bad as we know we did. We got fourth out of four again, BUT we were only about 40 points away from first place! Once the guard knows all of our work as well as we have known the rest of the show up to this point, and can do it all together like we're all able and supposed to, we'll do fantastic. Heck, we are fantastic. We just need to show it!

Only two more shows left.

Let's show 'em, GRIZZLIES!!

"Happy Birthday, Muddy Sunflower"

2010-10-17T20:47:00.002-06:00

Written February 26, 2010

"Dear Rachel,
So. Today's your sixteenth birthday. How does it feel?

Are you still friends with everyone? Kenna, Sam, Olivia, Alivia, Brittany, Olivia, Amy, Lia, Jessica, Ginnie, Kaylien, Grace, Bianca, Paige...?

Did the district get better at all? Does color guard still exist? Have you seen Malea, April, Corey, Britney, Kaitlyn, Alyssa, Miranda, Amber, Chelse, Ginnie, Kaylien, Crystal, or anyone else recently?

Are you interested in any guys now? Because, you know, now you actually have permission to like guys. Even though you say you wouldn't want to have a boyfriend before you are forty... but things could always change. : )

How's school? Do you have classes you like? Are you getting good grades? I hope so. You know that you have everything it takes to get ahead in life. All it takes is pushing yourself a little harder, working just a little longer.

You know you always have people around you that love you. You love yourself. Lexie loves you. Ian loves you. Dad loves you. Mom loves you. Your grandparents love you. Your aunts, uncles, and cousins love you. Your friends love you.

Do you remember when you visited Grandma Phyllis? She told you that you were a beautiful young lady. She told you that your face was perfectly shaped. Inside you felt good. You could hear the emotion in her voice. You never told anyone what it meant to you, but you remember. You are beautiful. You always have been. You may doubt yourself, especially when you get a red spot on your face that refuses to go away. You cover yourself in makeup, just to make yourself feel better. You put in contacts every morning because you hate glasses tilting slightly on your nose. But remember. You have a lot of people in your life that don't care how you look. They know you are beautiful anyway.

Have you remembered to tell everyone that you love them? Have you began to hug people more, a real hug, not just a half hug?

Have you tried to become more outgoing? Do you say 'hi', even when you don't know the person? Do you crack a joke, just so that you can see someone smile?

Do you have confidence in yourself? Do you have confidence in others? Do you still take on the burdens of others, because you feel like you can help them to shoulder the weight? You're a good person. Remember to not let yourself get buried with someone else though. Sometimes it is best to let others keep to themselves. And maybe sometimes it is best for you to share your burden with others as well.

Do you say "I love you" every morning before you leave for school, every night before you go to bed, and every time you leave the house to meet a friend still? Every time you hang up the phone, even if whoever you were speaking to would see you five minutes later? I hope you still do. That little reminder means much more than some people think.

Are you working well in girl scouts? Are you trying your best to help your troop? Are you recording your hours of service, and servicing others any time you can? Are you making the plans? Are you keeping the plans? Are you working to your highest potential?

Are you gardening? Are you going out to pick tomatoes and cucumbers every day, so that you can spend time with dad and feel the earth in your fingers? Are you going out in the lengthy shadows to care for the life of a plant?

Are you still reading? Are you writing about everything you read? Are you drawing meaning from any story you hear? Are you writing your own story along the way?

Are you caring for Oreo, Tina, and Yoyo? Are you letting Tina stretch out on your lap? Are you following Oreo when he jumps and rolls in the bathtub? Are you petting Yoyo as he greets you in the morning on your way to school?

Are you saying thank you to everyone? Anyone who helped to celebrate your birthday? Remember that gifts don't matter: people's presence is the greatest gift you could receive.

Are you listening to good music? Have you fallen low enough again to listen to the swearing? Have you deleted those songs that draw you down from all of your playlists?

Are you learning about others?
Are you learning about yourself?
Are you learning about life?

I hope so.

With love,
You"

It's amazing how much she - I mean, me, I - I know about myself. : )

Since Grandpa had to sing "Sweet sixteen and never been kissed", I thought I'd not think about it being "sweet sixteen". : ) I feel just like normal anyway...

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes! ^_^

What Do You Think?

2010-10-11T22:40:00.002-06:00

Washington Post: Guest Voices: Christian compassion requires the truth about harms of homosexuality

Anyone up to discussion?

2010-10-09T21:52:00.000-06:00

Dan Fogelberg, To The Morning

"Band": my social life described in one word. : )

2010-10-09T21:02:00.004-06:00

Marching band season so far has been going fantastically! Already, I think the color guard is at least 2 notches above how we were by the end of the season last year, and it's great! Tonight at the Riverton competition at Alta, we got fourth place, but that's okay! There's no such thing as losing in marching band unless you stop trying to improve.

About drama: I wish some people would keep their opinions between their teeth. And if they can't do that, then don't shut off their ears. Nothing has ever bugged me more than people who never think that they can be wrong. It's never helped anyone.

"If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear." - A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)

And for that reason, I'll never shut up until I'm sure you are trying to understand. I still always try to put myself in your feet with your hands.

(First off: about that whole "that's gay!" thing... it sure is! Makes me so happy that you recognize how amazing gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people are!)

My birthday is in 8 days! AAaaaahhh!! I can't believe it. o.O I feel. So. Old. I wish I could have a birthday party this year, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to have one for the rest of the time I'm in high school, because between marching band, UEA, girl scouts, and school, I never have enough time in this month. Dagnabbit, beautiful lovely October. Why do you has to be so popular with ze people in charge?

Halloween's coming up too! Both my birthday and Halloween are on a Sunday... what am I gonna do? : P

Peace, love, happiness and BAND SEASON! Woot woot!

Bullied for being gay

2010-10-01T09:16:00.003-06:00

Four U.S. teens bullied for being gay commit suicide in a month

An Important Message from Ellen About Bullying

"We can't let intolerance and ignorance take another kid's life."
No one deserves to be hurt so badly.

2010-09-25T23:45:00.002-06:00

Today was the Mt. Nebo marching band competition! We placed fourth, we're pretty sure, but it was a good show, despite my many mistakes. : ) As long as we get better, I'll always be happy! As soon as we finish getting our work, and drum line too, then our scores will go up significantly. Of course... I've just been sticking with color guard and marching band because it's insanely fun.

Musicality! I woke up with "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner playing, and was singing it to myself all day today. Of course, only the chorus. : D

(P.S. In case you were wondering... school's killer! I'm an idiot for even typing this when I should be writing about Oedipus the King and doing my Chapter 10 notes!! : P )

Ah!! Can't think of titles : (

2010-09-19T12:48:00.002-06:00

Haldo, you peoples who may or may not care about this blog! X )

It's been crazy psycho-ness around here recently. Homework, homework, homework, marching band, homework, marching band, girl scouts, homework, sickness, homework. Who'd have known that tenth grade was gonna work the tail feathers so freaking hard?

But moving on from the depressing side of homework! Friday was the first public performance of the marching band! We learned all of our rifle work for Mr. Roboto that day, so it didn't turn out so well as it possibly could have. People tell me we did good though, so, I'll take it anyway. Tomorrow is the parent night performance for the marching band! Woot woot! Then the next day is our first "competition" thing-y (because Lise won't let me call it a competition : P ), and I'm freaking stoked! This season is coming on so fast! This is the season that we're gonna have the most fun winning!! : )

Styx, Babe... only my favorite song in our whole show. : )

This day, I hate homework.

2010-09-14T22:53:00.003-06:00

Never is a time so tiring as when you have to do something you really don't want. And I. Hate. Similes. I wouldn't hate them so much if I wasn't sure I'd probably get a C on this assignment or something, because the person who grades leniently got swapped with the person who practically asks if a comma belongs. :/

1, 2, 3, 4, SHOUT!

2010-09-08T21:54:00.002-06:00

Everyone should dance. Because really, dancing has a way of making you happy. : ) I just wish I was the sort who could get half the school to stand up at some certain time and bust a move. That would be awesome.

The Buggles, "Elstree"

Labor Day

2010-09-05T23:07:00.002-06:00

Today has been a fantastic day. : ) How can it not be when the first thing you do when you wake up is go outside?

Camping with the South Valley (South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society) group is so much fun! Sadly, it was a day trip. But seeing everyone made it all worth it! Every game we played, I'd never heard of (Settlers, Slide 5, some storytelling game), I got my first henna tattoo (fingers crossed that the stain turns out!), and the conversations are magicaliciousness! Discussions about Doctor Who and lighting gnome things on fire? What's better!

South Valley, I miss you so. And I love you. : ) I think I'm gonna start waking up at 8:30 on Sundays so I can make my parents take me to church. : )

Smiley!!

Tumblr

2010-09-04T20:12:00.003-06:00

Four Thirty-Seven

Because I've always had a love thing for the beauty of the simplicity of it all. : )

2010-08-31T20:36:00.002-06:00

The Morning Benders, "Damnit Anna"

Grizzly Bear, "I Live With You"

Avi Buffalo, "What's In It For?"

And a song in honor of Charlize. {Love}
The Band Perry, "If I Die Young"

2010-08-30T21:26:00.001-06:00

Metric, "Help, I'm Alive"

Peter-Pan-itis

2010-08-30T20:49:00.006-06:00

Childhood. I can't seem to drop it... And I think I've sort of come to kinda maybe understand it a teeny bit more. I think it's that I have a fear of growing up. Give me a sword and a Captain Hook, because I never want to grow up. But I suppose the world has different plans for me.

But, I've found a (temporary) cure to Peter-Pan-itis for me! After my emotional breakdown today (yeah, high school is freaking me out way too bad. Too much change!) I decided that I was going to think of all of the childhood memories I can. Already I felt better... mud fights, trick-or-treating, pretending to put evil spells on boys when we played house (we were always magic), cooking mud pies in our "oven" (aka the top of the garbage can in the sun), making mud sculptures of turtles, making snow angels in the dark, making a fort out of fall leaves with my neighbors, and climbing my tree and having long discussions, staring at Orion in the winter, and reading. "We" always seems to be Sammy and I. I didn't realize how much I truly miss Sammy until I realized that she is a vital part of nearly every childhood memory. Sammy, I love you.

So I climbed my tree and hugged it for twenty minutes. It's the best smelling tree ever, I'm convinced. I stayed in there long enough that I could track a single tiny red spider as it crawled around an camouflaged among the little red lines on the white bark.

I was going to go in, but found a random string with beads attached at one end and a basket at the other. And this is the point that I became the cowgirl/executioner. I be-headed the weeds with a flick of my "lasso". Gosh, no wonder children like random objects. I don't think I ever had a decent toy besides my green VW Bug hotwheels and Furby (which my brother and dad thought was hilarious to get sick with the TV remote) when I was little; I would have become bored too easily with something with one purpose! Give me some PVC pipe, a bucket, and a cardboard box, and I'm well on my way to building the next flying machine!

And then I was going to go in after playing with the cat instead of doing my duties as executioner... but then I saw a puddle. I guess that's the way I was when I was younger: I immediately thought, water+dirt=mud!! I shall never outgrow mud. : ) So now I have a little rock house and firepit with dinner on a table and wood drying by the shore of the lake in my backyard waiting for the faeries.

So now I'm cured! I can go on with life now. I'd prescribe re-living childhood to anyone who's felt like me recently, lost, confused, and stressed. Faeries really understand things quite well.

Peace, love, and memories to get us all through life happily!

2010-08-29T22:03:00.002-06:00

Garth Brooks, "Thunder Rolls"

I love the sound of thunder and rain.

Tomorrow's an A day. Third period, come quickly. Fourth period, come slow, end fast.

Only On a Weekend Tuesday

2010-08-27T23:57:00.002-06:00

Late night explanations of my daily thoughts:

I love it when people smile. It lights up their whole face. It's true that a smile is contagious.

Nothing much really matters in life but who you decide to spend it with.

When I die, I don't want a funeral, and condolences for death. I would want people to remember my life, without wearing black and sending flowers and grasping onto tissues for dear life.

Also going along with above, flowers while I'm living isn't too nice either. Unless it's potted! If it's still gonna be able to live, then it's good.

I like it when I talk to people. I'm so shy that I'd expect myself to clam up every time I talk to a new person, but I was forced to in psychology today, and I was really comfortable after that first person... ha ha I'm not as shy as I've had myself believe. (No, really, I started a conversation with the question, "So, have you ever felt the urge to throw a piece of fruit?")

It seems completely nonsensical to me that some people will have a yard full of huge trees, just to cut them down and plant babies in their place. "If it gets to big, it might crush my house!" I'd rather move the house, honestly. I want to live in a house in the mountains, with tons of windows and solar electricity, and lots and lots of trees. (I'll find some way to do solar electricity in the middle of a forest's shadow!)

Art is an extremely odd thing. Extremely.

Some people don't think it's possible to love every single person you meet, but I do... if it wasn't, what would be the point of trying to find love in the first place? Admit it, everyone looks for it. But it really doesn't take looking; it's right in front of your nose.

I keep thinking about breathing today. And then I think, oh no, am I still breathing?? Yeah, I'm still breathing. In... out... in... out... Wait, wait, what one am I supposed to do now?? Am I still breathing?? It's kinda like riding a bike. I know I'll be able to do it on my own, but my mind totally flips out, and I have to think, alright, pedal forward, look both ways, don't get yourself killed...

It's saddening to forget your book at home on disclosure day.

If we slept upside down like bats, would we still naturally sleep with... our... yawn... eyes... closed...?

May it bite like a dog, sting like a bee, but be soft like a flower, and sing along with me

2010-08-25T22:08:00.005-06:00

The first day back to school (kinda)! To start off, you know me: gotta have some music. : )

Rodney Atkins, "If You're Going Through Hell"

I think this will be one of the songs that I live to during this school year. Because really, if you're going through hell in school:

"If you're going through hell,
Keep on going!
Don't slow down!
If you're scared,
Don't show it!
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there!"

And for any of you that have a Europe map test like me for AP Euro, here's a handy dandy map quiz. Now I'm ready! Yea! I have to be hopeful that with hard work, I can do anything. Ginnie tells me that Lise finished the AP Euro test in half an hour (I wonder how much she was joking about), and Lise says that the studying that she did was just reading through the whole book, even the parts that weren't assigned, and she got a four out of five. Ha ha... guess one of my studying strategies for this year?

Looking forward to tomorrow for creative writing! It seems like it will be an awesome class, and it's the first class since fifth grade that I've had with Kenna! It shall be crazy. : )

Looking forward to Friday! Psychology!! Sure, there's just about six sophomores in there, but so far it seems like it will be the most interesting class that I've ever taken in my life... and maybe I'm just being uber hopeful, but what's wrong with that?? No wonder everyone tells me I should be a therapist... I can't wait to learn more about the human psyche!! Ahhhh! So excited!! X )

I hope that everyone else will be having a fantastic school year too. : )
And now, some inspirational quotes for the school year.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." --Dr. Seuss

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." --Albert Camus

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people." --Eleanor Roosevelt

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." --Thomas Edison

"It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not." -- André Gide

"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer" --Douglass Adams

"No one has ever become poor by giving." --Anne Frank

Peace, love, and good luck

The Boy Who Lived

2010-08-18T14:36:00.003-06:00

Be still, my beating heart!

John Williams, "A Window to the Past"

No, really, heart. Be still. Don't injure yourself. Be still, my beating heart! For beautiful music is not worth the price of a heart attack, only love!

Nicholas Hooper, "The Weasley Stomp"

Nicholas Hooper, "In Noctem"

Nicholas Hooper, "Opening" (Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince)

Nicholas Hooper, "Malfoy's Mission"

John Williams, "Hedwig's Theme"

Ah! Double reason to finish my homework! Once To Kill A Mockingbird goes back and I pay off my fines, I can put holds again! Yea! That means... I can read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and finally figure out that whole deal with Snape! Yes! Yes!! Ah! Must finish!! 8 ) (Tsk, tsk, spell check! You don't read enough if you don't believe these are names!)

You know what? Just listen to every little bit of Harry Potter soundtracks you get your paws on. Because I have homework, and I still need to recover from my sighing session. -^_^-

She Loves You, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah...

2010-08-16T19:36:00.003-06:00

I've turned away from 80's music (temporarily) to the 60's, nearly completely. Ahh, love... The Monkees, The Beatles, The Zombies, The Beach Boys, Herman's Hermits, The Troggs, The Guess Who... The treasures you can find on my Monkees station on Pandora. : )

The Beatles, "If I Fell"

Herman's Hermits, "There's a Kind of Hush"

The Guess Who, "No Time"

The Archies, "Sugar Sugar"

The Beach Boys, "Don't Worry Baby"

Herman's Hermits, "Can't You Hear My Heartbeat"

The Monkees, "The Door Into Summer"

The Monkees, "Love Is Only Sleeping"

The Temptations, "My Girl" (alright, some 50's mixed in)

The Monkees, "Valleri"

And don't think this is the end! Oh, no, mister. This is just the beginning. It will take forever for me to get over this wonderful music. : )

Peace, love, and forks.

School, Seven Hours of FUN!

2010-08-15T21:35:00.003-06:00

I finally finished my To Kill A Mockingbird! Well... the reading part of it. I'm up to, eh, chapter 12 on that darned packet. That packet will be imagined dead when I'm finished with it.

I started on my Greece, Rome, and Middle Ages assignment! So far, the research has been really easy. If it's only four pages (hallelujah for double spacing!) then I'll have this done really easily. Why did I ever dread it?

In other news: library, you are my best research buddy ever. Yes, I love you more than Google. Feel special, library.

Map quiz on Europe? Ha ha ha, I laugh. It shall be tackled as easily as ninth grade, with my handy dandy story! Thank you, Mr. Curtis. I will never forgive you for burning that image of the guinea pig giving birth into my mind. But thank you, for everything besides that.

Looking forward to tenth grade (and sociology, and drawing, and AP Euro, and psychology), saying, "I can do this! I can do this!! I CAN DO THIS!!!"

Looking backwards to first grade (and snack time, and recess, and shapes, and class pets), saying, "I miss you! I miss you!! I MISS YOU!!!"

Ah, well. Can't get everything you want, not even cookies.

I want more shooting stars. : )

Goals for Tenth Grade

2010-08-14T13:39:00.004-06:00

~ Be known by "the loser kissed trees!"
~ Get another 4.0 for the year
~ Get accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
~ Convince Kenna not to yell at me every time I turn down a food with meat in it
~ Make a friend in every class
~ Talk more. Toughie!
~ Make Fernando my best friend, because so far, he doesn't like to open up for me...
~ Have the best marching band season possible!
~ Have the best winter guard season possible!
~ Prove to everyone (including myself) that AP Euro won't be as hard as they make it to be. I can do hard work, right? Right. I can do this.
~ Find out if there really is more to Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince being titled Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince than in the movie when it's all just five seconds of Snape admitting that he made up a spell and is a half blood
~ Spread the peace
~ Not get lost and have the janitor show me where my class is (again...)
~ Live life, laugh through life, love life!

Totally Random

2010-08-11T11:50:00.003-06:00

How do I speak to a plastic bag? "Die! Die!"

I bet you could overdose on M&M's. What a sad way to die.

OOh! I just remembered! I'm wearing earrings!

I wonder if we'll start in the middle of a pool. That would be hard to do though, because it'd be difficult to get to the cornucopia... it'd be easier if we were really dying, rather than getting wet. Depressing.

Why does my name start with an R? Why not... oh, maybe... a T? Tachel? Okay. Maybe not.

Mahnahmahnah! Doo dooo do do do! Mahnahmahnah! Do do do do! And it all started with a little banana...

If I had a fountain, the figure spouting water would be wearing clothing.

I wish I had a fountain. Ooh! Like the one in Jordan Landing.

I so want to see Drum Corps! AHHHH! I wanna! I wanna!

I'd probably fail at sword fighting. Because some swords is heavy. And it's harder mentally to kill people with a sword than look pretty with one. o.O Thou shalt not kill.

My rifle has little red lines all over it after practice today. Not to self: remove nail polish completely before spinning.

Why is toilet paper sometimes called "bath tissue"? You don't bathe with it... Well, I guess it's better than some -scratch that, most- alternatives.

Why do they make puzzle books in "GIANT" versions? If you have the time to get through a single GIANT puzzle book in a year, be worried, and get another hobby. You'll be happier.

Have you ever realized how easy resurrection is if you're a cartoon? They never really die. Or else, they're just a super cat, with a billion gazillion lives.

Mamma Mia! Here I go again, my my, la la la la Spy Kids!

Why are flies so noisy? Dragonflies are a lot bigger, and they're a lot quieter too. Flies must just be those people who are always around you, saying "Guess what? Guess what? Chicken butt! HA HA HA HA!", then they run into another window, and you wish the window would just break and they would go through it and wander aimlessly in the general direction of away.

Jenny, don't change your number! 867-5309!

If I were any animal for a day, I'd want to be one of those blind fish that live in deep caves. No clue why.

Gollum/Smeagol always creeped me out in Lord of the Rings. But not Legolas! Because his hair is brilliant. : )

I wonder what it's like to be electricity. Probably like Kenna with Pixie Sticks, Skittles, Mountain Dews, Monsters, and the accomplishment of catching a quadruple within her. I could see this. Well, kinda... it'd be quite fast.

Sticky notes! I'm afraid to know what sort of unnatural thing makes them sticky. o.O

I've been getting random songs stuck in my head today -- Rammstein, "Du Hast", which I haven't listened to since my brother was obsessed... um, at least 2 years?

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an important message.
We regrettably must announce that Rachel Maria was the second of 11 (12 if the last commits suicide. NOT THE BERRIES!!) tributes killed during the Imitation Hunger Games 2010. Just after her death, she told an imaginary reporter the following, "I'm not sad that I died, I think that everyone else should be sad. Because now that I'm here, I'll get cozy with the big man and make it rain, and everyone will die ironic deaths. MWAHAHAHA!" before departing and heading upwards towards her true home. She now is again in the home of her father (and mother, and sister, and brother, and 2 cats, and 2 rats), where awaited a stack of patient books, and she is happily accomplishing the lifelong goal of being one of the living dead.
As the IHG 2010 may still be going on, the announcement of the winner will be at a later time. A whistle blow of a recorder is sounded in the memory of this 9th tribute.
Thank you. Now returning to the usual broadcast.

Wanna know a secret? Sometimes I feel like a weirdo. Surprise!

My (Maybe Not So) Secret Obsession

2010-08-09T22:47:00.004-06:00

Yesterday when Lexie had to go to get her seventh grade immunizations, I went with, because my mom woke me up with "If you come, we'll go to Deseret Industries with Andrea" (shuddup, spell check, "deseret" is too a word), and I was up. I'm nearly finished with To Kill A Mockingbird reading now, because that doctor's appointment lasted so long! Yeaness! I actually do like the book. But I'll start hating it again as soon as I start answering more pointless questions, don't worry 'bout me.

So, we went to Deseret Industries! And I found exactly what I have been looking for every time I go there: 60's style, and 80's style. (Because you know me, I love myself some 60's and 80's!)

Very retro feeling style, makes me think of all of the 60's fashions from episodes of The Monkees. (Ah, love right there.) It made me feel like a secret agent, for some reason. I'm just special like that. (OOh! Now I need to make a necklace out of my Clue revolver, and then I shall be Agent 117... because 7's my favorite number, but 007 is already taken.)

Power dressing shoulders, win! The 80's are coming back, baby, and I'm gonna hop on this revival, shoulders wide, and funny prints bared. : )

The final dress is gorgeous, in my own opinion. I'm not sure what time period it reminds me of... it reminds me of something they would wear in the country club in Dirty Dancing... But anywho. I can't wait for someone to get married or something, so I can wear it without feeling like a dork. : )

Kenna tells me that last year everyone always said I dressed "weird" or "cool". This is news to me. o.O But this year, it's going to be more intentional. ; )

Now, if I could just find a good pair of bell-bottoms... ooh! I'll make my own! :D :D Now I just gotta finish my homework so I can start another project. : ( Ah, well. Motivation.

In-N-Out basketball tournament today! Woot woot! (Is their mascot a burger or something?)

Peace, love, and scary-looking bugs. >(:=)

Dear America,

2010-08-09T17:38:00.002-06:00

Today I pretended to eat you. But with all your crap, I felt a little sick. So I stopped pretending to eat you.

All my love,
Rachel

And That, My Friends, Is Why You Have So Many Hangers

2010-08-08T22:44:00.004-06:00

I'm in one of those moods again. I'm sure you know the one... where I can't shut up about how much I love life, and all the people in my life? Yep, that's it.

Dria called me tonight, and we talked for a couple hours. I don't know how anyone could not love her, she's brilliant and hilarious and amazing. : )

She told me about a dream that she had where Chase stabbed her in a sword fight with her grandparents against the color guard, and we abducted her and we were all acting like color guard had all had 2 Monsters each (color guard normally*2 monsters= uh oh!).
We all got back to the high school, and Mr. Simpson says, "Mission accomplished."
Eva bows. "Yes, Master."
What's going on here? Mr. Simpson explains. "This is not a band or a color guard. This is a ninja training station." Apparently color guard is the highest ninja you can be. In the words of Andrew, "Can I get a 'woot woot!'?" You know color guard is just that awesome. ; )
So Dria gets all her training completed (this is one of those dreams that feels like it lasts years), and... "You're ready to go on your first mission." And color guard is just hopping up and down, even more excited, because guess what? It's a group mission!
We find out we're going against Dria's grandparents. We get into her house, and booby traps, piranhas! But we get past them... and Dria's grandparents release the teacup chihuahuas! (Dria, "And it was like a herd of chihuahuas chasing after us...")
"Not the teacup chihuahuas!"
"That's the worst way to die."
"(Chase) She doesn't like to talk about it, but... we lost a good guard member to them, four years ago."
And there's this guy who apparently Eva is in love with, and it's a trap, and yea, we're all ninjas still! If you ever run into Dria, ask her to tell you a dream. : )

Apparently Dria dies a lot in her dreams. When she was stabbed by Chase, she says it felt real, and she woke up with a red mark where she was stabbed. Perhaps the work of her friendly bedroom poltergeist? (Creepy stuff, that is. I will never sleep in her room. Heck, her house.) She recently dreamed she was run over by a semi-truck... she's died by squirrels. o.O
"How do you die by angry squirrels??"
"Well, I don't know. They were chasing after me because they thought I had stolen their acorns, but I told them that it was someone else, and I could see the person who really stole their acorns, but they didn't believe me and they started eating me." Now you know. Don't mess with the squirrels.

It's only happened to me that it felt real twice. The first time was when I was in first or second grade, and in my dream I went on a camping trip with Olivia and Ryan (Kim), and the first night Olivia was kidnapped, and she turned into a giant spider, and then she came back the next night and kidnapped Ryan, and the next night all of these spiders started crawling all over me in my sleeping bag... and I woke up all tingly like spiders were all over me. The only other time was where in a dream I was bitten by a rattlesnake...

Anyway, we've gone totally off-topic. : ) But tonight, it feels like that's alright. Because here, it's always alright.

I don't know how many times I'll have to say it before people start saying, "Alright! We get it!", but I love color guard so much. Sooo much. And band, I love them too. And my friends (who, let's face it, are all my nerds or my guard and band "pancake friends" -- "Yeah, we're all hanging out with the pancakes. We're gonna meet up with french toast a little later..."). And my family. And my cats. And my sister's friends (mostly). And all those little people who make me smile every day - like those people at the Days of '47 parade holding signs saying "You are BEAUTIFUL!" and "You're doing great!" (couldn't we all use some more positive people?). : )

And I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with all of this last bit, but... if I could run a pirate ship, I'd have to make half my crew walk the plank, so that we wouldn't sink. But the sea would be risen five feet with all of the tears that I shed for each person walking. (Which is one of the weirdest things I've ever said. But there it is anyway.)

HOLY CRAP, THAT MEANS HALF OF US WOULD BE PIRATE-NINJAS! WIN!

Yea For This, That, Rat-A-Tat-Tat!

2010-08-07T15:16:00.004-06:00

I survived day 3 of Band Camp (Part 1)! Yea! : ) Band camp has been fantasmagical! Band and color guard is so much fun! If I hadn't been dragged into it in the summer before 9th grade, I don't know what I would be doing with my life right now. It'd all be different! So, yea for band and color guard! In the words of Chase,"Prayer toss, hallelujah!"
Capture the flag, train wreck... ah, that was fun.
Fall's gonna be amazing! Color guard is so much farther ahead now than we were half a month into fall season last year! Ah! So excited!

I have found a new love for 60's (alright, and 70's) music, that may or may not be so very new as I think it is. ; ) I guess I can say that my favorite eras of music are from the 1960's to the early 1990's. Let's see how far it expands before the year ends...

So now, some music, that you can listen to and be happy while I go and read To Kill Me (alternate title). : /

Edison Lighthouse, "Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes" is one of my favorite songs at all now. : )

The Gentrys, "Keep On Dancing" (The way they hop side to side makes me giggle) "The jerk" is an old dance move. Not that the New Boyz would like you to associate "the jerk" with it. : )
The Buckinghams, "Kind Of A Drag"
Donovan, "Mellow Yellow" Which I really like for the chorus and someone saying "electric banana" that way. : D
James Clarke, "Wild Elephants" Which I can have stuck in my head for a long time
The Zombies, "The Look Of Love"
The Move, "Night Of Fear"
The Kinks, "Sunny Afternoon"

The Beatles, "Hey Jude"

The Beatles, "Obladi Oblada" Always makes me happy. ^_^
Don McLean, "American Pie"
The Monkees, "She Hangs Out" ... Again. I can't get over this song, alright? And I still need to learn to dance like Davy. : ) My sister's obsession with The Monkees has mostly transferred to me now, as she moves on to MCR...
The Monkees, "Look Out, Here Comes Tomorrow" If you haven't seen a single episode of The Monkees, you should. : )
The Monkees, "Goin' Down"
The Monkees, "Last Train To Clarksville" Ah!!! I love this song!! : D
The Monkees, "I'm A Believer"
Bobby Vee, "Take Good Care Of My Baby" I'm glad I remembered this one name when it was playing a billion gazillion oldies songs on the TV at a party. : )
Bobby Vee, "The Night Has A Thousand Eyes"
Bobby Vee, "Run To Him"
Dionne Warwick, "Walk On By" I love her voice. : )
The Beatles, "Revolution"

Goodbye, wonderful peoples.

Dear Lovelies,

2010-08-05T21:04:00.007-06:00

So, today was day one of marching band camp! For once, waking up wasn't an issue, because I was awake at 5... but anywho.

I'm so proud of everyone! Everyone's working hard and learning! (Don't give up now! It's only up from here! Because it's not true that everything that goes up must come down... hey, the world's round, which way's up anyway?) ; ) And if you aren't there... well, where are you??

So, my love note to summer color guard!:
Eva, I'm so glad that you're my instructor! You have a way to make everyone happy and excited to do color guard! You're so funnay! I love you! : )
April, I'm glad you're my captain! You're such a nice girl, and a great teacher! I love you! : )
Kenz, I'm glad that I met you, and that you're doing fall guard! Your t-shirts are fantastic, and I hope that we can get to know each other better. I love you! : )
Michael, I'm glad I got to know you a little bit, and you decided to work all day and come to us! : )
Kayla, I'm glad I got to know you! I had seen you only a little bit at school before, but now I feel like we're so much closer! I hope you do fall season, or I'll be missing you! I love you! : )
Brielle, I'm glad we met at guard! You're such a sweet girl, I hope you can do fall! You've learned so well! I love you! : )
Olivia, I'm just glad that you're here! We've been friends for quite a while, and I think that color guard has just made us all closer! You're fantastic, and I love that you can always make me laugh. I love you! : )
Kenna, I'm glad that you dragged me into guard in the first place! You're such a great friend! I'm glad I have someone who will do stupid things with me on a whim. I love you! : )
Dria, I'm glad that you did summer guard as a super-senior! I would never have gotten to know you so well! I hope that all goes well, and that you can help us for fall and/or winter! You've taught me some great things! I love you! : )
Kaylien, I'm so glad you're my captain, I'm glad that you dragged Kenna into guard so she would drag me into it! You can always make me laugh, and we've become great friends! I love you, duck! : )
Stephanie, I'm glad we met! You're so funny, and I love to be around you! You've really opened up so much since you started, it's fantastic! I love you! : )
Sammie, I'm glad you're doing fall! And I'm glad that I had the chance now to see that you're not just a weirdo... you're a fantastic one! I love you! : )
Crystal, I'm glad that you've kept doing color guard! You're such a great girl, and I love that you are always there to make me laugh! I hope you do fall! I love you! : )
Braedon, I'm glad that you were there and I got to get to know you a bit! : )
Rachel, because you're you! I love you! ; )

I hope I didn't forget anyone! : (
I love you gals (and, alright, guys) so much!
WE ARE COPPER HILLS HIGH!!!

The Monster

2010-08-04T15:57:00.002-06:00

So, I found this random "Dream Journal" thing under my bed, that just asked you a bunch of random questions and had pictures on some of the pages... and there are some things that I just had to share. This next one because it totally made me "LOL inside!" (I think I was in seventh grade)

"'Experiment. Does something or someone live under your bed or in your closet? Eeek! Don't be scared. Close your eyes and imagine a creepy, crawly monster. Now write down everything. Remember that it's your imagination, and you can easily change and ogre from frightening to friendly. Switch fangs to pearly whites! In dreams, you can even befriend your beast...'

My monster has dark penetrating eyes and pointy hair that always stands on end. His fingers clench in and out of frightening fists. He wears a brown leather belt, but somehow his pants weigh down, or else he abuses the privilege of the belt, and his blue-checker boxers play peekaboo with the television viewers. But what is that, far off in the distance? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it superman? No! It is *da da da daaa!* (hero music!) Peter Pan! He lands right on him, knocking the basketball right out of ZAC EFRON'S hands! Peter quickly and quietly pops the ball and flies away, shattering the Monster's hopes of giving children everywhere frightened expressions when they hear 6 little words, "Get your head in the game." SO, Peter wins! With the hottest expression on his face! He flies into the distance, blowing me a kiss before disappearing past the horizon. **Sigh**.

Ha ha, just kidding (kinda)"

X D X D X D Holy crap, my sevvie self... Back when I still signed everything "Twix", and called all my friends their nicknames when I wrote about them: Oreo/Kit-Kat, Hershey, Snickers... Those were the days. : )

And something I wrote in here in second grade:

"The trumbone is lovely
Why did I say that!?"

Ha ha Sometimes you just gotta love your young (more) idiotic side. : )

GOODBYE, PROP 8!

2010-08-04T15:45:00.006-06:00

YEA! California's Proposition 8 was ruled unconstitutional! YEA! YEA YEA YEA!!!

Governor Schwarzenegger Issues Statement on Proposition 8 Ruling

"Stop blogging and go to bed!" Gasp! They know!!

2010-08-01T12:28:00.008-06:00

Some more random thoughts! Because we all know how much I like to do that. : P

I'm so excited for school to start this year, suddenly. I was dreading it before (and, alright, still kind of am because I haven't finished my summer homework), but now I just can't get it to come quick enough!! Just a few more weeks! AHHH!

I wore my wings yesterday that I found cleaning my room.... It's much too fun to go outside and see your neighbor peeking up from over a car to stare at you. : )

For some reason, the past few days I've been thinking about moving out, and where I would want to live when I got enough money (not that I'm about to move out anytime soon). So here goes my babbling:
After reading this article on five of the greenest cities around the world, I've decided that I'd like to live in Oregon (if I stay in the USA). I've actually wanted to live in Oregon ever since I visited some friends who moved up there, and saw how much land they had! The trees were brilliant, and if you know me, trees are the equivalent of happy. Alright, they are the equivalent of very very happy. I want to have a massive garden and compost, so I can hopefully work up to being quite self-sustainable, maybe with an orchard like my grandparents used to have down in Kanosh, and maybe goats. : ) I want to have one room that has walls completely covered with paper, so I can just write random things on it like an inspiration room. I want a big wraparound deck, and I want to put solar panels on the roof. Toooons of windows. Think, the Cullen house. ; )
On second thought, I might like to live in Europe. Because America doesn't like to have environmentally friendly cars much. :/ Ooh! But I'll just ride my bike all over anyway. ^_^ And there you have it, the boring thoughts of "look, Mom, I drew a picture of my dream house!"

And after you're done with that handy dandy link up there, read a bunch of other stuff on How Stuff Works. It's an amazing website; my love!

Ooh, I want to buy a bike! (Why is it that whenever a bike is stolen, it's the crappiest bike of any in our family? Aka, mine?) Eh, at least I still have my sister's to use. (Please don't start riding your bike to school again, Lexie, please. Pleeeeease. Puh-leeeeaaaase.) On that note, personal reminder: find that helmet. I keep seeing the "ALWAYS WEAR YOUR HELMET!!" sticker on Lexie's bike, and I'm thinking that if I died, it'd be all my fault and I'd have to feel guilty for making my family depressed. So finding that helmet it is.

OMJC, A BUNNY! (And this is the first time I've ever actually seen a bunny when I say that.)

It seems like everything important is falling on a Sunday this year. :/ Well, alright, just my birthday, which isn't that important. But there's Halloween too, and that's important!! I hear that you just trick-or-treat on the Saturday before? Which reminds me, I need to figure out what I'm going to be this year (I will not allow this year to be an impromptu "let's be a purple people eater!" again). Ooh, ooh, what's you being for Halloween??

I went and saw Despicable Me and Eclipse this last week. Despicable Me was really cute (I loved the Minions! And for some reason, Vector.), but I really liked Eclipse better. Now that I think about it, I don't really know why. o.O I want to see Inception so bad now!! There were commercials for Inception apps at both movies, and when a phone commercial can make me want to see something, then I've gone crazy.

Also, when I talk lovingly about Twinkies, read Seventeen magazine, listen to the B-52s' "Love Shack" voluntarily, watch Step Brothers again, or eat a hamburger, it is either a sign that I have personally gone crazy, or that the apocalypse is coming, so get your canned goods and hide!

I love the Monkees. : ) I need to steal some of Davy's moves...

Have a good, apocalypse-free day. : )

Find a Map, Or Wander Aimlessly, Whatever You Do, Find That Bridge

2010-07-30T18:20:00.003-06:00

Warning: If you are likely to hate me for speaking about anything that you see as a "touchy topic", you might like to stop here. Or just continue, because humans are often curious and are likely to step out into traffic and learn that it's not safe. Or just continue, because humans are often curious and are likely to step out into traffic and learn that those wide white lines mean "you can get safely to the other side here".

I've gotten into one of those "Wow, is this really America? Land of the free? Home of the brave?" mindsets. But it's all good! I like it when I actually start to seriously think about something.

So, let's see what the topics are today, shall we?

Case #1: Equal Marriage Rights vs. You Are Now Pronounced Man And Wife. "Marriage is a unity between one man and one woman as husband and wife," is what the government likes to say. I'm perfectly happy that you believe that. Or that you don't. I personally stand on the side of love, and say I don't believe that.

I believe that all couples should have the right to be recognized as married by the government, and if they should so choose, the deity/ies of their choice. Whether they are a man and a woman, or a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. "Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud." Love is what love is, and nothing will change that.

Some of the people way up high push it off of themselves with, "It's not a federal decision, it's a state decision." Hm... I think it's more of a humanitarian decision. Does the government stop you from loving who you want to love? Does the majority vote stop you loving who you want to love? Does it stop you from loving your mom or dad? Your brother? Your sister? Your son? Your daughter? Your cousin? Your best friend since 2nd grade? Your boyfriend or girlfriend? I hope not. <3

Would you vote for state equal marriage rights? Federal equal marriage rights? Or if you can't vote on anything more than "What should we have for dinner tonight?" like me, what would you vote, and why?

I'd vote yes. Because marriage is a decision that should be given to all humans that love each other as partners.

I'm thinking that I'll do this: National Marriage Boycott - We won't - until we all can. And even if I can't get the money, then I'll still always support it. : )

Case #2: Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice. I just want to lay it down here already, since I know that a certain 8th grade teacher *ahem* *cough cough* history *cough* has already ruined the minds of all of my classmates, besides myself (unless going crazy because of hearing misinformation counts), that there is no such group as a "pro-abortion" group. I have never met a single person who really thinks that no one should have kids, that they should all get pregnant and have an abortion. I hope I never do meet someone like that, either. So, short definitions, for those confused:
Pro-choice: those who have the belief that it is a woman's choice whether or not they themselves should have an abortion.
Pro-life: those who have the belief that abortions should be outlawed, and no one should have an abortion (except in some extreme circumstances, I believe -correct me if I'm wrong- such as rape)
Pro-abortion: those who have the belief that everyone should have abortions. And also, that the tooth fairy does exist- it's who your parents sell your teeth to on the sparkle market (fairy gone bad)- and they use those teeth to grind together pages of Dr. Seuss books to make the ink for ballpoint pens. And that Charlie the Unicorn can hear you whenever you yell off a bridge or building at least 2 stories tall, unless you're in Minnesota, then only the bananas can hear you.

So there you are. And here I am! (Hiiiii!!) I'm pro-choice. I think that everyone should be allowed to make an educated decision by themselves, and with anyone whom they so choose. I promise you that it wouldn't be easy for anyone to give up a baby, but they have to trust that it's the best decision. (I personally would say it's a last resort; there's always adoption, but sometimes it's not the choice.) Here's an article that I found written by someone who performs abortions, and it makes a lot of sense to me. They point out a lot of facts that a lot of people don't understand, and I think that it's worth reading.

Case #3: Kittens Are Kuter vs. Puppies Got Power. Brothers and sisters, come together! The puppies are cute and the kittens got power, and we can all live in one house, in peace! Yea or nay? Yea! Yea!
(No, really, I completely forgot what I was or was not going to say next.)

So my final words? Think logically. I think the easiest way to find peace in any situation is to try to put yourself in someone else's shoes, maybe sometimes literally, but not always. ; ) --Besides, when those puppies and kittens switched paws for a second, they realized that those kitties really were cute, and the puppies really were powerful... over their emotions. :' )

In other news, my Gods of Mount Olympus essay is completed and edited! Yea!! Now just another half of that darned book and study guide, and that 4 page essay and a little studying Europe the day before the test, and I'm good. You can do this, Rachel! Yes. I know I can. : )

With love and peace, may we all find something that makes us happy! <3

P.S. Sorry if something doesn't make sense... ha ha I sometimes get carried away on a spontaneous burst of wind and don't think once about looking down.

Dear Darla, I hate your stinkin' guts. You make me vomit. You are scum between my toes. Love, Alfalfa

2010-07-28T23:57:00.004-06:00

Oh my goodness... that apple is huge!!!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

The Sky Flickers, Days Go By So Fast

2010-07-25T17:23:00.012-06:00

It's been quite an eventful week! Lagoon Monday, band-joining-togetherness on Tuesday, and some more band on Wednesday...

Thursday, color guard had a sleepover at Olivia's house, and Dria almost died (and made us die laughing) from the fumes when we dyed her hair, and I so wish I had gotten a picture of her when she looked like an Oompa Loompa. : ) It was an awesome time. We killed Nazi zombies (or in my case, the Nazi zombies killed me), colored in coloring books with crayons (yea for dinosaur puppies!), and got in some pretty interesting discussions.

Friday was the Bountiful Handcart Parade, and I think that was our best parade of the season. The crowd was awesome, I laughed getting a drink of water and kids gave me weird looks, color guard was really clean, and I think we sounded great! It was so much fun. : ) We should always have parades at night, so that Kenna can do shadow puppets all the time.

Yesterday was the Days of '47 parade, and that was alright, definitely a good parade. I'm completely going to miss summer band season this year (I liked summer this year even better than summer last year... AMAZING!) but I am looking forward to a FANTASTIC fall season! ^_^

Yesterday I also went up to Washington Lake, and I got to see some people from SVUUS that I hadn't seen since our last camping trip, in April I think, so it was really nice. : ) I love how they always get together and play "Wagon Wheel", it's my favorite song to hear.

"Rock me, mama, like a wagon wheel.
Rock me, mama, any way you feel.
Ooooooooh, mama, rock me.
Rock me, mama, like the wind and the rain.
Rock me, mama, like a southbound train.
Ooooooooh, mama, rock me..."

I always love to see how much life there is there! Except mosquitoes. Parasites are the only things I can kill on purpose without feeling like a terrible person.

Washington Lake is absolutely beautiful at sunset! Pictures do it no justice! The moon was so bright last night that even all the way out there, I could only see as many stars as I could at home!

I hope everyone from band has a nice break the next week! (Eva gave us permission to have soda! OMJC!) And may everyone else still just continue to have a safe, fun, happy, thoughtful, interesting summer!

Feeling Wonderfully Terrible

2010-07-21T23:54:00.003-06:00

Helping someone going through a rough time.
Leaving unaccomplished, unstated goals.
Getting happy feelings of wanting to cry.
Hearing my silent, scared voice in my head.
Giving hugs and saying "I love you."
Thinking about what the future could bring.
Thinking about what the future could bring.
Thinking about you.
Thinking about you.

Band Is My Other Family

2010-07-20T11:35:00.009-06:00

Yesterday, I had band (again)! But, this day was different! I received an F- during stretches, but at least I was having fun. ; )
We practiced dancing to pep band music (I always want to cry when they play "Nothin' But A Good Time"), and then headed off to the Days of '47 Float Preview, and played there. It was nice to see how many people were nodding along and dancing while we marched. I felt like such a fool standing in front of the stage doing shampoo, conditioner, lawnmower, disco, wax on/wax off, shopping, bubbles, penguin, disco, sprinkler, fishing, swimming, driving, party, and Apache (in that order) dance moves over and over and over again. -^_^- But it was all good anyway. I think it's one of the only days that I've actually woken up completely hyper. : D

At dismissal, Cody wiped off his face after we finished, where it just happened that I would have been spitting on him from standing there. I could have died. X D

We left off to Lagoon, and I lost the game with Dria (who I always am losing with, now), and we played bus ninja. : D
I don't know what to say about being at Lagoon. Would "FUUUUN!!!" be alright? We ran into Brittany and Jessica while we were there to.
"What walks like Brittany but looks like band? (/singing)"
"Um, what?"
"(Silence...) Brittany."

We went on Rattlesnake Rapids ten times in a row! If you are considering doing this for some reason that may or may not have something to do with a quick spurt of insanity, you probably shouldn't. Or at least make sure that your bags do not have any holes in them, and end while the sun is still up. I was shivering the rest of the night... and this morning... and the day during marching band... and when I got home... but I feel better now, thank goodnessness.
LAGOON WAS SO MUCH FUN!
I was overcome with stress of "school's almost starting/fall marching band/what? what? what?/What if I fail a class??" on the bus ride home though, and my glucometer wasn't working after getting wet (but it works again, yea!), hence some frown-y faces when I got home. : / All of the times that I've loved my bed that much have been after a long night of marching band!

Today when I got up for band, I didn't get up for any other reason. My shoulders hurt, I was still freezing, and I felt sort of like a monster. And not a fuzzy cute one at that. *w*

Once I finally got to the high school, we were told to just stay out for a little bit longer, and that we wouldn't be doing any marching or music that day... to which I was relieved.

We went inside, and Andrew started talking to us. He started talking about how we all have problems outside of marching band, but that we should walk in the door and leave all of our problems there, because marching band is a different place. "Now go outside, and when you feel that you have sufficiently left your problems there, come back in." It didn't take long and it was silent.

Andrew told us to form a circle. The circle was large and full of gaps. He told us that we had just showed him how we felt as a band. "How do you want to be?" He asked us. We all scooted in. He started taking people out of the circle. The first time, it took a couple seconds for us to fill in all of the gaps again, but then we just filled them all in one by one until they were a small circle, but just as tight together. "You can't have a circle if you don't have all the parts," he said. We opened up and let all of the people back into the circle again.

Then we started saying everything that we liked about summer in general. My favorite things were "Seeing all of the people - especially special needs - get so happy when we passed by at the parades," "Being told my dancing was suggestive (Layson)," "Being able to teach you guys (Scott)," "No school," "Bluh bluh bluh bluh! (Mary)," "Seeing all of your guys' faces light up while you think about all of these memories," and "Hand check! (Kolby)"

Then we started talking about goals for the marching band in fall. Since I don't remember what some people said, I figure I'll just combine anything I heard into my own goals for the band in fall:
For guard to out-perform Chase and Eva
For everyone to feel like they're getting better, and that they can get even better than that
To travel for shows (Las Vegas, anyone?)
To be a marching band that other marching bands will want to be like
To take 1st at least 3 times
To take 1st in all areas
To practice just like we'll perform it; every run-through like it's our last
To have band united, so we are one band, not one person in one section of one band
To take every bit of criticism we receive and learn from it
To feel like we've accomplished something fantastic, regardless of placement : )

Then we did the spiderweb with yarn, where each person we tossed it to we had to say something nice about them. I've decided that Lia is way too much of a sweetie. : )

(E nya - "Caribbean Blue" because Enya was playing now)

Then finally, my favorite game. (Oh, by the way, guess what I just lost?...) We sat in the circle again, and Eva numbered us 1,2,3... 1,2,3.... "Now, group one stand up. Anyone who's still sitting, close your eyes. If you think of someone when I say something, tap them lightly on the head." I'm not sure how long the game lasted, but I wished it had lasted longer. "The point of the game is to get warm fuzzies inside," Andrew had said, and boy, was he right. I wanted to cry, probably at least twice during this game. I don't remember what some people tapped my head on, just "Who is a good example of kindness?", "Who do you have the best memories with?", "Who would you want to have a baby with? (Which I only got one tap on, thank goodness, and I'm hoping to high heavens whoever it was was joking)", "Who would you be most likely to go to jail with?", "Who is a good example of honesty?", and "Who do you want to be like when you grow up?" When it was my group's turn, I felt happy. I hope that whoever I tapped on the head felt just as good as when they were tapping my head, even if I tapped them on "Who can you always count on to tell you a dirty joke?" (Scott was worried that he had gotten so many taps on that one). ; )
One of the happiest moments I was up there was when I saw Kaylien was holding hands with Braedon and Carlie on either side of her with her eyes closed.

I tapped everyone's head I could get to in the amount of time on "Who has made you smile today?" If I missed you? Tap.

After the game was over, I was calmly over-joyed, to put it sort of sensibly. "Now, whenever you feel like you're ready to leave, you can go, but you can stay as long as you like." People started standing up, and I just turned to Kayla and Stephanie and said "I love you" and gave them a hug as Enya continued to play in the dark from the speakers behind me. I don't think I've ever felt happier after band, or more connected with all of the people (I guess I got to the point of the day, didn't I?). And now I feel like crying again. :' )

While I was riding my bike home, Scott passed by me honking, and everyone in the car waved. That made my day for the billionth time today. I smiled the whole way home. : )

In the words of Malcolm, "Work like you've nothing better to do, and love like you've never lost."

I love you. Really. No matter how much you might doubt it that I love you, or that anyone loves you, for that matter, it's still true. I love you, and I know that so many other people love you too.

And just so you know? I'm not only talking to band people. ; )

Nike

2010-07-18T23:35:00.001-06:00

Every day, I tell myself. "Just do it, just do it." Have I done it? No. ; )

Eighties, Ninties, Hairbands, Nikes

2010-07-14T19:07:00.002-06:00

My brain has become overloaded. Skinny ties, feathered hair, mid-calf skirts, bodysuits, leggings, scrunchies, khakis, crop tops, Doc Martens, plaid, over-sized sweaters, Chucks, jelly shoes... AGH! Fashion is just too weird. Way, way, way weird. And yet... oddly enticing...

I've spent my day looking at fashions from the 80's and the 90's, which somehow led me to the thought of tying jackets around your waist... when did people start doing that? Obviously when they got hot, but when I was in second grade, it was the "fashionable" thing to do (well, as fashionable as an 8 year old who likes patterns and picks out their own clothes can really get). If anyone has an answer to the jacket-waist mystery (which I will just call "jelly" now), I'd be interested in knowing. Was it invented by the second graders, who soon turned into third graders, and the second graders were so afraid of them that they thought they would be more fierce too if they performed the jelly? Or maybe not... because I bet not all second graders were so terrified of the third graders as I was. : P

While I was looking at the nineties, I found GAP commercials. I love them now, I think. Now I love the songs "Mellow Yellow" (and Donovan in general) and "Wild Elephants". Ah, gotta love finding new muzik!! ^_^

Anywho. Now I really wanna go to D.I., so that I can scour around for stirrup pants (which I really really loved in second grade too) and acid wash jeans. One's trash is another's treasure.

I was looking through my dad's '84 senior yearbook today too (which I found in the process of cleaning out the basement). I loved looking at the pictures, because pretty much all of them were in black and white, and the fashions were sometimes hilarious to look at. All of the hair looked the same. The only way it looked different is that the girls wore it curlier, and some guys had facial hair. Ba ha ha ha ha! But hair aside...
Pet peeve alert! Turns out the spelling of "your" and "you're" being confused was just as much of a problem for high school students in 1984 as it is now, 26 years later. And it made me laugh when on the page for the literary magazine had "preperation" and the wrong spelling for "their". Someday I'll really go crazy because of English. Yes, English, you.

Random thought: "Don't laugh at me when I'm telling you I love you!!" I love Kenna deprived of sleep. : )

My mom says that I was born in the wrong decade. I agree... except that I'm in the right decade now, and just wish I was born in the other decade, since I do actually sorta like this decade. My mom pointed out that if I was in the 80's at my age, then I would be almost as old as her now. So yeah, 2010, you say? Sounds good to me.

(Do you say "twenty ten" or "two thousand ten" or even "two zero one zero"? Or maybe even "ten greater than twenty centuries"?)

MY FAVORITE! MY FAVORITE!
Because I'm all caught up in the music now. : ) Madness is amazing! I heart them!

"Sun and the Rain" by Madness

Also love: "Baggy Trousers" The first Madness song I ever heard.
"Cardiac Arrest"
"House of Fun"
"Our House" The one that everyone's probably already heard before.
Trust me when I say that the videos are amazing on their own too. : )
Madness, Madness, Madness... love, love, love... : D

May your life be filled with love and, well, Madness!

"Faithfully" - Journey

2010-07-13T15:43:00.001-06:00

How could I have forgotten to include Journey?
Love-ify it, I tell you.

Love-ly

2010-07-12T20:15:00.004-06:00

My new favorite video, which I love without real explanation (but since when was explanation needed?) (I figured out how to embed! Aren't you so proud???)

Anywho. <-- I love that word

For some reason, I keep on getting songs about love stuck in my head. "What do you do to get stuff out of your head?" you ask? "Why, tell it all to you!" I say.

"Better Life" - Keith Urban
"Once In A Lifetime" - Keith Urban
"Fall Into Me" - Emerson Drive
"Would You Go With Me?" - Josh Turner
"She's In Love With The Boy" - Trisha Yearwood
"History In The Making" - Darius Rucker
"Beautiful Mess" - Diamond Rio
"Meet In The Middle" -Diamond Rio
"That's How Your Love Makes Me Feel" - Diamond Rio
"My Maria" - Brooks & Dunn (Yea! I was named after it! My first name was named after painting that I've never seen... : P )
"Love A Little Stronger" - Diamond Rio (The one that was stuck in my head today...)
"No Matter What" - Boyzone (Ew-ish name, but beautiful song!)
"From This Moment On" - Shania Twain
"1,2,3,4" - Plain White T's
"Hey There Delilah" - Plain White T's
"I've Got Nothing" - Chartjackers
"I Could Fall In Love With You" - Erasure (Beautiful video!!)
"The Way I Am" - Ingrid Michaelson
"You And Me" - Lifehouse
"Chasing Cars" - Snow Patrol
"Darling It's True" - Locksley

And some other good songs:
"Don't You Know You're Beautiful?" - Kellie Pickler
"Little Bitty" - Alan Jackson
"Feel That Fire" - Dierks Bentley
"Letter To Me" - Brad Paisley
"Long Black Train" - Josh Turner
"Alright" - Darius Rucker
"Rain Is A Good Thing" - Luke Bryan
"Winter Song" - Sara Bereilles, Ingrid Michaelson
"La Llorona" - Oscar Chavez ; )
"That Song In My Head" - Julianne Hough

Music is beautiful.
But not as beautiful as you!

Bear Cub to Grizzly

2010-07-11T14:19:00.002-06:00

I went over to Jordan Hills on a whim during a bike ride... I always ride by, it's been so long since I've gone to the playground, might as well, right? I sat on the end swing for an hour and just stared at everything. At first it was more like, Oh, the weather is fantastic. All the clouds are just streaking out across the sky... that means now it's raining somewhere else, yea them. Then I looked over at portables, and all the memories started coming back to me...

Sitting under the air conditioners on the portables while it rained or snowed.
Going down the slide and making a "train", and hurrying to get off before the aide turned around and saw us.
In first and second grade having swing wars, and "stirring the witch's brew" with the swings. (I'm not small enough to get away with it now, sadly.)
Climbing across the spider and monkey bars on the little kid's playground.
In second grade, missing the end of recess bell while Ryan and I played with icicles by the rainbow, and not figuring it out until I got scared of how many third graders there were.
Making faerie and bug houses in the corners of the playground, with tumbleweed roofs and rocks for tables and chairs.
Sitting on the hill by the fire hydrant with my friends while we guessed how many feet away our crushes were while they played football.
Reciting the dream, "Shelbie, come with me to ALA-BAAAA-MA!" while tossing grass into the air for the snow.
Playing kickball by the backstop and watching people run all the way down the hill to get the home-run ball.
Being upset when they took out the tire swings. (And to think that was my biggest dilemma...)
Swinging next to my friends and trying to grab their hands.
If you swung in sync with someone next to you, you were "married".
Playing double dutch every recess in sixth grade.
"Down down, baby, down by the roller coaster. Sweet sweet, baby, I'll never let you go. Shimmy shimmy cocoa-pop, shimmy shimmy roooo, shimmy shimmy cocoa-pop, shimmy shimmy roooo. I've got a boyfriend (mamasita!) He's so sweet (mamasita!). Apples on the table, peaches on the floor, step back, baby, I don't need you any more! To the front, to the back, to the side side side, to the front, to the back, to the side side side. Shimmy shimmy cocoa-pop, shimmy shimmy roo, shimmy shimmy cocoa-pop, a boy loves you!"
Playing helicopter saying the alphabet, and the letter you got out on was the first letter of the person you'd like.
Olivia accidentally being pants-ed.
Playing horses.
Sliding down the hills in the winter.
Playing hands-up-stands-up by the fence.
Waiting for the snow to make a puddle for ice on the hill.
Seeing if we had enough balance to walk all the way across the rainbow or the spider.
Digging around in the gravel in the shade of the slide when it got hot.
Being Spiderella in the fourth grade plays, and tripping after the line "Hold on, these shoes are really hard to walk in..."
Tossing water balloons on field day.

And so many more. : ) I miss elementary school. Those were the good easy days.

Super Duper Spidey-Widey BAT MAN!

2010-07-11T11:41:00.001-06:00

I've been reading through some of my old blog posts....

BA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA HA HA!! X D

Wowie, Howie!

2010-07-10T19:10:00.005-06:00

What a busy week! And yet, I feel like I've done nothing at all, now. :P

On Monday I... um... have trouble remembering. I'm pretty sure that I did something, and then I went to babysit for my cousins. I was really lucky to have convinced my brother to come with me, because I don't think I would have ever been able to handle them on my own! Alex is 6, but pretty hard to deal with (that's why I was so grateful), and Jon is 4, and alright because he can listen to some common sense. ; ) What I remember the most about babysitting that night was how Jon became obsessed with how full the sink he was playing in should be... "You see those little holes right there? Those are drains. So if you get the water up to there, it'll go out anyway." And he insisted on it being right up to the drains for the rest of the night. : )

On Tuesday we had a rifle line sectional. Kaylien had kidnapped Kenna and stopped by my house. We went completely insane with hyperness, and we got more insane and decided that our state of insanity was perfect for a sleepover. We scared Mama Tripp somewhat, I think. It wasn't cured when Olivia joined us, either. : )
... "Look! It's shaped for your bum!"
... "'OMJC'... 'Oh My Jasper Cullen'!"
... "Is my tongue white?"
"No, it's blue."
"Oh, thank goodness!"
... "When I get a boyfriend, I want him to be able to spell 'you're'."
... "'Hey, Mom, make my pancake in the shape of an 'O'! Oh, wait! It's already shaped like that!'"

Wednesday we had flag sectional, and we mostly played Never Have I Ever. : )
"Never have I ever hit my teeth out with a flag..." Can anyone guess who put a finger down? ; )
Later that day, I went back to the high school to leave for Corps Encore. IT. WAS. AMAZING.
First we saw Spokane Thunder, and they were good, but my least favorite. Then came Santa Clara Vanguard Cadets, and it was SO AWESOME I was close to tears half-way through. Then came the Cascades... who I honestly can't remember the performance from. And then the Troopers, which were another one of my favorites! Then the Blue Devils, which were pretty awesome too, but I didn't vote for them in the "Troopers/Blue Devils" bus war. : ) Then Santa Clara Vanguard, which were just as awesome as the Vanguard Cadets! Then the Blue Knights, who had some killer ripples! Every band there was fantastic!! It was interesting that none of the bands had woodwinds... I wonder why...? Anyway... I think it would be so awesome to get into one of those for color guard! AHH! It was magnificent!

Thursday was Lagoon day for my uncle's work, so we got some free tickets. My aunt Teresa and cousin Miranda were down from Montana, and they went with us. It was fun! (A lot more fun than 9th grade lagoon day, at least.) It was sort of funny, because Jon clung to me the whole time. : ) Also, Alex went on his first roller coasters!
Alex, after Wicked: "That was scary! Let's do it again."
Dave points at Colossus: "Wanna go on that?"
Alex: "Uuuhhhhhh... okay, sure."

Jon was pretty adorable, although my hips hurt a bit after carrying him so long. : P
"Jon, she doesn't want a kiss on the lips. Kiss her on the cheek." Ba ha ha

Then yesterday was the band car wash. Lucky us, it rained! But at least while it was raining, it was cool... ha ha. Sadness that that was one of the worst band car washes (as in, least fun) I've ever been to. : P

And then today was the Farmington City parade in -- you guessed it! -- Farmington! It was an alright parade, I suppose. I stepped in horse poo though... you know how they always tell you to pretend you're squishing a tube of toothpaste?...

So that's my week! I'm surprised I remembered Monday at all. : D

Today I finished the book Sent by Margaret Peterson Haddix. It's the second in the Missing series. I finished the first book quite a while ago, but I didn't really have to remember too much to understand what was going on. It's about Jonah and his sister Katherine, who go back in time and have to try to save brothers Chip and Alex from their "fate" in time in the fifteenth century! It's an insanely good book! Margaret Peterson Haddix is right up there with Neal Shusterman... those two are the best authors I've ever read!
Best books:
Double Identity, Margaret Peterson Haddix
Unwind, Neal Shusterman <-- LOVE
Full Tilt, Neal Shusterman
Found (Missing Series), Margaret Peterson Haddix
I so wish I'll meet them someday. (Sigh.)

"I cannot live without books." -Thomas Jefferson
"Be the change that you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Gandhi

{Peace, Love, and Rest}

Random Photos, Random Thoughts

2010-07-04T13:05:00.001-06:00

Random photos from June/July...

I dislike it when people talk to me about their problems with others. What does it solve? Shouldn't they talk to the person they have a problem with?

The idealistic world has no person having greater power than another, but that's just it: it's idealistic. Power is too human to disappear. Those who want to even out the power must first find power to work from...

I've never actually known the definition of "liberty" until today. Up until now, all I knew was that it was supposed to be a positive word and that when teachers talk about America they use it a lot. ... Happy 4th of July?

AHHHH!!! I love the marching band and color guard!!!!!!! ^_^

"I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." -Thomas Jefferson

"On matters of style, swim with the current, on matters of principle, stand like a rock." - Thomas Jefferson

"I sincerely believe that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies, and that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale." -Thomas Jefferson

...Did you know that 9/11 was a controlled demolition?
(Sorry... 4th of July makes me think of fireworks and, well, government...)

"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism." - Thomas Jefferson

Gosh darnnit, Thomas Jefferson was wise. (More Thomas Jefferson quotes)

I love it when people ask me questions. I love it even more somehow when I can't answer it.

I hate you, summer homework.
(Yea! Another copy of To Kill A Mockingbird is coming in to the library! No fines?? Let's hope!)
Scout is my favorite. ^_^

My sister just checked out Procession of the Dead by Darren Shan, and I want to read it so bad! Darren Shan, I love you (or rather, your writing)!

"Let's Dance" - David Bowie I still remember being obsessed with David Bowie. I'm not anymore, don't worry. But I still love his music. : )

Parade tomorrow! YEEEEEAAAAAAA!!!

I love children's books... Have you ever read The Little Prince? It's really really good.

I've decided I dislike Glee. I do not have much ground to state this on, since I haven't ever watched an episode, but I do know this: I hate remakes. To many remakes. XP (Glee ruined "Don't Stand So Close To Me" - The Police) : ( Of course, people can still love it if they don't force me to. : )

OMT I LOVE RAINBOWS!
^_^

Yeah, happy 4th. : )

HEY COPPER HILLS, HOW DO YOU FEEL?

2010-07-03T21:55:00.007-06:00

We feel good! Oh, we feel so good, hey! (Clap clap clap clap clap, clap clap clap clap clap, clap clap clap, clap clap clap) Copper Hills High! Whooooo!!

Today were our first parades of summer season of marching band and color guard. And... IT. WAS. FAN. TAS. TIC. ^_^

We got up niiiice and early in the morning to be up at the high school at 6:30 am, but it was all good! The sun was shining, and it was chilly, and the sunrise was really pretty. : )
We got our t-shirts, and we sat around and did nothing, and then the buses came and, yipee ai ay ai oh, we got on! Ginnie was hyper the whole way up... and she started barking like a dog, pretended to lick the seat, and several other "Ginnie" type things. : )

We got to parking, got out and did stretches and a few run-throughs, and then we were going out on the street for the Murray parade! For the first parade this guard has done, I'd say we were pretty darn good (especially compared to last year)! But the best was yet to come. : )
So then at the end, popsicles and off running to go to the next parade that we were supposed to start in half an hour!
Me, "I really need to pee now..."
Ginnie, "Would you like it if I poured out my water bottle? It would flow down like a waterfall... Have you ever turned on the faucet and just watched the water go down the drain?..."
Thanks, Ginnie.

So then off to West Jordan! By that time, everyone I talked to had to pee. :P
Kaylien, "I have to pee too! (high five to Olivia and me, because having to pee is something to be proud of, apparently.)"
Olivia, "Waterfalls... What if the waterfalls were yellow? "
Me, "Shush!"
Kenna, "Lemonade!"
Me, "Just be quiet! Think about something good! Like, bunny rabbits!"
Olivia, "... Bunny rabbits pee in bushes." : )

Then we went out, and... I don't really remember much about the actual parade, except that it was better than Murray was, and that everyone kept on shouting people's names. : )
Then it was over, whew! WATER! (I didn't even care that it was "courtesy of Target", I ignored the hope of customers for WATER!!) We performed for the water, eh, providers, and it was freaking hilarious to watch Alex dancing during a cadence. I literally fell on the ground laughing. Then Olivia came over, I stood up and accidentally whacked her in the face with my flag, and then we both started laughing again. Good times, good times.
Me, "Ginnie, what's wrong?"
Ginnie, "My ankle is killing me again... the flutes decided to skip all the time now."
Me, "Aw, I'm sorry."
Somehow, I started wanting to skip.
Me, "No, that's a chassé! I forgot how to skip! I think I'm going crazy! (looks at Ginnie) Help me remember how to skip! (skips) Ah! I can skip!"
I was hyper the whole way home. : ) Everyone always tells me that they like me when I'm hyper... o.O

Then, home sweet home... lunch, and I fell asleep on a foot of the couch with a pillow on my shoulder and my arm above my head on a bookcase. (Not very comfy once you get up, FYI) : )

Off to Sandy City parade! We picked up Kenna and then we talked about how all the music on the radio is on Guitar Hero and Kenna stuck her head out the window and panted like a dog. ^_^ Gosh darn it, I love her.

Aaaaand... we waited forever! But it was a good forever, so it's all okay. : )
We sat.
Drea, "Did you know the myth that if you release a lady bug, the person it lands on next you're going to marry? And you guys already act like a married couple!"
We stretched.
Olivia, "Ooh, look, a ladybug! ... Why does it keep going away! Stay here, ladybug!"
Me, "It doesn't like you. It's running away!"
... Me, "YEA! I can touch my nose to my knee! I couldn't do this earlier today! I feel like I'm made out of rubber bands!"
... (Planks) Me and Olivia, "Laugh-- six--laugh--teen..."
Layson, "Do you always laugh when you count?"
(How interesting first grade would have been if I always laughed when I counted...)
... (putting our heads on the ground) Me, "I can see the sun! And those bushes have a lot of spider webs in them."
Olivia, "I can see the sun too! Ha ha... bunny rabbits pee in bushes."
We practiced.
We... peed! ^_^
Me, "Seriously, why do they call them the Honey Bucket? If that's honey..." (Olivia and I's faces) :P
...Drea, "I actually didn't need to pee, I just didn't want to be left behind."
We played!
Me, "Ooh a note!"
Kayla, "It's trash!"
(I hand it to Kenna)
Me, "I really wanted to go up to her gasping, 'Here! Take. It!' and collapse... but, it didn't really work out that way."
(Everyone should have seen Eduardo's face as he threw it away...) XD
We played Ninja! It's actually the first time I ever played it, and I only ever got people out because I screamed when they came towards me, so they stopped, then I got their hand as they were laughing at my face. ; ) And we played!... that!... one!... hand tangle-y game! It did not end well.

And then the parade started, eventually! Somehow, my dad secretly stalked us the whole time... I only saw him on the corner the very very last part of the parade. o.O
WE DID AMAZINGLY! I think it was the best parade of the day. : ) Looking at film of the guard, now, I see that we looked even better than I thought we were (but the video where we looked the best was taken when the reeeeally loud music was playing, so this is second best! And also, we had a tank in the back of us the whole time! Who knew?? I didn't.) : P

The better sounding one...

The better looking, the not sounding...

Anywho... I LOVE YOU, COLOR GUARD! I LOVE YOU, MARCHING BAND! I LOVE YOU, INSTRUCTORS! I LOVE YOU, COPPER HILLS! WHOOOOOO!
We can only get better from here... Monday's gonna be rockin'. ; )

{Peace, Love, and COLOR GUARD AND BAND!!}

Ha ha, and sorry for going on and on... if I could remember every detail of every parade, I would! So this is my chance to get it all down! X)

TWFef": ImswpsfgbuwC IBIl : )

2010-06-27T22:15:00.005-06:00

Today, I actually got some homework done! YEA ME! My procrastination is slowly dying!.... Without a cape, still (sadly). I really truly actually do like To Kill A Mockingbird. Better than Fleshmarket. It's actually an interesting book (and I have no idea how or why, because I'm not entertained by much of what's going on, it's just a page-turner... oddnessocity)! Scout is my favorite. : ) She's so awesome. And Atticus, too. (But why do they call him "Atticus" and not "Dad"?) I need to do my Mythology paper though, the books go back Wednesday, I think... poo. : /

I hung out with Amber today, and it sounds like she had a lot of fun on trek! (But she showed me her blisters, not so fun!) I really wish that I would have been able to go (because everyone said that I probably would have been able to if I had done paperwork... but, alas, not.) I wish I was Mormon, sometimes, just because I love all of my Mormon friends and if I forget about prophets and gods and such, it's still all a really good spiritual message to me anyway. : ) Trek sounded fun, but it sounded pretty hard, too! Amber told me about the Women's Pull. When I first heard about it... well, let's just say that I laughed. (I heard it from someone who had never gone on it before, and this was before she went on it this time.) "Why would it be so heart-breaking to see women doing stuff for themselves?" But once Amber explained to me, I understood! "If a billy goat had seen these hills, he would have turned around and said, 'No way!'" (ha ha, I love Amber) It sounded hard for the girls (and the guys, for just standing by)!
Cheers to everyone who went on trek! Well done. : )

I LOVE BIKE RIDES!! Like, ultra fantastically. It's my new love. It's my new amazing love. Bike rides, do you hear that? I love you.
If anyone ever wants to go on a bike ride with me (to nowhere, or anywhere), tell me! I freaking love bike rides!! (ultra happy jumpy smile) I need some biking buddies. : )

Bohemian Rhapsody anyone?

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." - Mark Twain

{Peace, Love, and YOU}

00:00 ... 24:00

2010-06-26T00:00:00.006-06:00

Now, it's midnight. 6 minutes ago, I decided that I kinda sorta hate Facebook. And from that, spurted out of my mouth (eh, fingers) that I was going to not use it for a whole day. That's a whole 24 hours. And from that, I figured, "hey, I don't need any of this! No social networking for me!" and since I promised myself all of this, so it shall be. No twitter, no Facebook, no buzz, no chatting. No status updates, no "hey, look at me! I can balance a spoon on my nose!", no "dude, that's weird*". I am limiting my contact on the internet to, well, email, and these here blogs (because really, I couldn't torture myself more). And I'm going to try to refrain from those here-after as well.

00:05

Maybe I'll find that I like it. Maybe I'll, you know, start really only talking to people in person and on the telephone (which I keep wanting to say "telly" for, but isn't that for the TV?). LIFESTYLE CHANGE! BRILLIANT, GLORIOUS, WONDERFUL LIFESTYLE CHANGE! I can see it. In the distance. Far off in the distance. But, you know, I've been working out in marching band and with my bike rides, so the distance doesn't seem so far away if I squint, turn my head sideways, spin around a few times, and imagine myself in ultra-comfy shoes.

(While it's in my mind. I don't want to complain, so I'll try to keep it as simple as this... Band: Be quiet when appropriate, do your stretches, and do your push-ups --or, better yet, stay at attention! Oh my stars, SIMPLENESSOCITY ALERT!) ^_^

On another topic, the Seventeen Project just ended, and for the final sort of project thingy majig I dunno what you'd say, they're putting pictures into the flickr pool of your message to mainstream media of what you are! I think it's pretty much awesomely brilliant. I love reading what everyone said. ^_^

I'm worried. About flickr, because I love it too much too. Should I give that up too? YES. Oh gosh. I make it harder by the second. I just need a quick search for kittens, and I'll be done... *deep breath*... oooh! Look at it! It's so cuuute! (tjmmaol... "that just made me awww out loud." Too long, maybe? ... aol? Ha ha. Not...) Oh. My. Flipping. Goodness! My mom "aaaawww"ed too at this one. Reminds me of a freaky little wrinkly gecko. The cutest freaky little wrinkly gecko I ever did see. This. That. "AWWWWWW... It's so cute!" (mom). "Does that cat have glasses on?" (mom again)
Stop. Stop, Rachel. Stop, right now. Or you never will, and you know it. No, no! Not "just one more..."! You have to have self control. That's what the next 23 hours 31 minutes are all about.
Okay, me. I'll behave.
Good, I. Good, I. You can do it, I.
I know, me. I can do it.
And you should stop doing this, too, I.
Yes, me, I will.

(Darn. My mom wouldn't let me stop looking up adorable kitten photos. Whenever you're bored... search for pictures of kittens. Or puppies, if you're a dog person. But puppies don't really do so much for me. Kittens. Lovely. Cute. Adorable. Insanely adorable. Double triple that's-six-times adorable. Yes. Kittens.)

Goodnight, all!

00:43

(Must... resist... status... update... about sweet talking an annoyed cat... ) D:
(NO! FACEBOOK, STOP SENDING ME EMAILS!!! YOU'RE NOT HELPING ANY!) D: x3

"Insert quote about kitten here." - Me (really truly. I talk to myself so I can quote myself.) : )

{Peace, Love, and Oh My Stars, Kittens!!}

*different from my experiences

Bajillion Zillion and Ziperooni

2010-06-23T23:16:00.003-06:00

Today has been a very "I'm bored, so I'm gonna take photos. Billions. I'm gonna take billions of photos." kinda day. My flickr page doesn't reflect that too much, but you should see all these freaking pictures in my documents now. I really need to go through and weed them out...

Tomorrow, I don't have marching band (sadness) because of all of the people who are going on trek. And we're also missing Taylorsville Dayzz parade on Saturday because of it to (more sadness). But all "ugh, they ruined everything!" aside, I'm actually kinda wishing that I was going. I have those friends who are stoked to be going, then I have those friends who are like cooled embers in a dirty fire pit about it. : ) Apparently I could have gone, since my parents never went through the trouble of getting their names out of the church or such, so we're "inactive", but I knew about it too late. Darn. It seems so freaking fun to go walking sweaty in a skirt and bloomers for three days! X l (No, really. I wish I was going.)

Anywho.

Completed homework status: Zero. Zip. Zilch. Ziperooni. Something else that starts with"Z". Zebra.
I know I've been saying that I was gonna buckle down and do it. But this is summer! I can't get myself to finish things in summer... I'm even more of a procrastinator then. (Just look: I took a billion photos instead of starting to read To Kill A Mockingbird like I told myself I would.)
I NEED TO DO MY HOMEWORK.
Rachel: DO IT.

Word of the day: winkle

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." - Mark Twain

Amen, Mark.

{Peace, Love, and Stinkin' Homework}

Random Thoughts (Because They Have To Go Somewhere)

2010-06-22T15:25:00.004-06:00

ILY: my favorite hand signal, you know, ever.

I love the dark. And I love the stars. One day -when I can move out and live on my own- I want to live in the mountains or the countryside. Somewhere where the lights are just a distant glow on the horizon, and there are a billion stars shining overhead.

THE WORLD: One thing that one person can't save, sadly. I wish people cared more about their thoughts and actions...

I was listening to the West Side Story fall music last night. That was a great show. I miss it so much. But I'm still glad to be where I am in color guard, too. That music (plus "Nothin' But A Good Time" from last summer) is an almost sure-fire thing to make me happy.

It's extremely entertaining to just sit in a bush and watch the spiders and beetles and bugs go by... it's peaceful.

I'm trying to go completely vegetarian (since for quite a while I've only really eaten poultry). Now I feel bad because I ate Ramen. Never again...

My cats are absolutely adorable. Tina can literally turn on her cuteness whenever she wants something (she can self-fluff in the time it takes to say "awwww"). Oreo is sick of being indoors (Oreo and Tina are indoor cats), and he's got spring -summer, now- fever. He always runs out whenever anyone opens the door. I'm always happy to sit outside and watch him while he rolls in some dirt and smells the grass... I know that I wouldn't ever want to be stuck inside all the time. Probably the complete opposite.

In color guard, I made rifle line! That means, I'll be able to do rifle in the fall show, and we're doing extra practices now so that we'll be really good when fall show comes around (still so stoked to be doing Styx). Everyone on rifle is learning really well, I think. Everyone who's on flag is learning really well, I know. Our guard this season is... insanely fantastic. We haven't had any drama (a miracle) and we're all turning into pretty good friends. I'm so glad to be stuck with such a good group of girls, with such a good group of instructors, in such a good group of a marching band geeks.

I don't really have a favorite color that comes to mind straight off. It was blue when I was younger. Last I knew it was either green or black. But, I don't know how anyone should expect me to choose one color and call it "my favorite, my beauty, my love", because they're all my favorites, my beauties, and my loves.

Hm. Some people still think it's creepy that my pinky is bent. "Woah! Did you break it or something??" I always remember fifth grade rotations, learning a little bit about genetics. Anyone with bent pinkies held them up next to each other... most were about as bent out as my pointer fingers. Ha ha... everyone freaked out about mine for a while....

What if for one day, everywhere you went, everything was silent? You could hear people talking, and they could hear you talking, but you could hear nothing else. No cars, no dogs barking, no horns, no thunder, no wind, no footsteps... As if you had gone deaf to the world?

The library is such a brilliant place. I'm thankful for my library card. My lovely, bent, hiding library card.

It's weird when people die. I think the song "God Only Cries For The Living" says how it is almost perfectly. I feel sad when people die, not because the person is gone, but because other people have to go on with the person gone....

Humans; how weird we are. Why do we stand on two feet? Why are our heads so big? Why do we have toes and heels? Why do we think too often that we're better than every other living thing in the world??

I haven't started much on my summer homework. I should, because I'm really helping no one by not doing it - especially not myself. To Kill A Mockingbird... why do you seem so daunting?

It's always nice to talk to people.

Word of the day: Icarus

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours; if it doesn't, it never was." -Unattributed

{Peace, Love, and More Peace and Love}